Numbers Above My Head
by Coacoa-beans
Summary: Ever since he was a child, Light dwelt in a darker world inside his mind and soul, knowing that being born with Shinigami Eyes is but a curse. Now more than ever.
1. Shady

Shady

* * *

It was a curse, really.

To be able to see the life spans of everyone one you meet, every person you know. To be reminded of death every single day, and to know exactly when people will die.

Even your own family.

Light Yagami was simply sick of it. It was torturing him inside. He woke up every day to see the life spans of his own family decrease day by day, minute by minute. He never told anyone though; they'd put him in a mental institution. Now, it would be a scandal that number one honor student of Japan had something wrong in the mind, wouldn't it?

He, of course, wore the mask of the perfectly happy son, that was the pride and joy of his parents. He was the perfect brother. the perfect student. The perfect athlete. The perfect liar.

Every minute of his life was sickening. he didn't know what kept him going, really. Maybe he wanted to believe that someday he'll wake up and find everything fixed, that he no longer had to _see_ death, or to pretend he was happy, or to deceive _everyone_ around him into thinking he was happy. Ironic; how people thought that people like him had happiness on a silver plate. How they thought he really meant it when he said he was fine. But Light knew, and he wasn't fine at all.

"I'm fine, mother." Light smiled a one-hundred watt smile, achieving his goal to deceive his own mother into thinking he was really okay. She took the bait, of course. How could a mother with a son so perfect even dare to think something was wrong?

Sometimes .. sometimes Light wished that she could see through him somehow. To ease the pain, and to just … fix everything. Even if he was a seventeen year-old teen, she was still his mother after all, but she felt foreign to him, like she was some kind of stranger. Too bad his own mother didn't know him.

"Okay, Light. Better finish off your breakfast quickly before you're late for school." His mother smiled, her yes narrowing in merriment. "How's your studying going? I know you have the National Practice Exam coming soon, so how are you doing?" she continued sipping her tea, still smiling. She knew she didn't need to ask, but she did. Wasn't this kind of conversation a mother and a son usually had?

"Of course he's doing great, Mom! He's at the top of his class." Sayu said, brightly smiling. "I know you'll do well, Light! You go to that exam and seek'em all!"

Oh, not that sick subject again.

"So, is Dad on a new case? I barely saw him in the last two days." Light asked, in a hopeless attempt to change the subject. He took a sip of his coffee. It was bitter, as usual, but he stopped caring about how food tasted. He just ate to keep himself alive. Not that life sounded appealing anyway.

"Yes, I'm afraid so, Light." His mother looked concerned. She put down her cup of tea. "And in fact, he was going to have a family meeting tonight with us about that matter, but I believe he won't have time. This case is taking most of his time. However, he told me to … deliver a message to you two," Light and Sayu gave her their undivided attention at that last statement. They knew well enough that if their father wanted to have a family meeting, it meant that it was something serious.

Light was especially used to helping his father on some cases. His father often said he was a good help, and Light liked working on cases. He was able to take off his mind off of everything, even if it was for a little while.

But for his father to be completely absorbed in his work like that, forgetting to talk to him about the case, or even tell him what it was about, then it was serious. Maybe even dangerous.

"Your father is working on a serious case right now, and he might not return home until the case is solved." Sachiko frowned. Of course, Soichiro Yagami stayed sometimes at his working place for days, when his work required that, so it might have sounded normal for him to do that now. But Light caught what his mother really was implying right away.

Something was wrong, and Light knew it.

"..what's the case Dad's working on?" Light asked. His mother looked at him, uncertain, worry in her eyes. She looked as if she didn't want that question to be asked, and Light had a feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.

"I'm .. afraid I can't tell you, Light." Now she looked sad. With that, she dropped the whole conversation. Sayu looked worried, too, but continued her breakfast nevertheless. Light knew it would only make the tension in the air heavier if he kept asking, and he could always hack into his computer's father and get any information he wanted anyway.

* * *

It was a cloudy day. Grey clouds covered the sky and the sun was nowhere to be seen, and it looked like it was about to rain. What a beautiful way to start the week.

Light walked down the street, trying not to look at anyone's face. he made a habit out of it. He chose a street that had less people, and avoided as much people as he could. When he met someone, he didn't look directly at their face. if he had to, he'd look right through their eye, and avoided looking above their head. Whenever he saw someone's lifespan, he felt something sting inside of him.

_'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.'_ He thought bitterly. He wondered what good it was anyway. People are born, live their childhood believing in fairytales, thinking every story had a happy ending. Turn adults, and worry about their jobs, trying to hold on to life. Then they become elders; and when they can't carry the burden anymore on their shoulder, they simply .. wish to die.

Light, however, was different. He didn't look forward to living. He didn't look forward to graduating and 'starting his life'. And he especially didn't look forward to getting old and being helpless. If he was to die at a young age, he wouldn't mind.


	2. Falling

Falling

* * *

Light arrived at school fifteen minutes later, and the noises of students made him aware of his surroundings once more. Some girls were chattering away excitedly, about a TV show of some kind. Some other students were gathered around a boy with a new game console. Others were sleeping, or at least trying to. Of course, there were some students who were looking in their text books, but Light figured it was just because of the pop quizzes their English teacher had been giving them more often lately. Sure enough, Light knew everything thing in his book like the back of his hand; it had been too easy to grasp. To him, studying was child's play.

However, when the school bell rang, Light knew it was just going to be another ordinary day. An ordinary day full of boredom, that is. And Light Yagami was someone who despised boredom. All he did was just sitting and doing nothing, really. He knew everything the teacher said, and everything the teacher was about to say. So, instead of staring out the window, he would gaze above the teacher's head, and stare at flying letter and numbers, wondering how they'd die. Seeing the lifespans of so many people at once was disturbing, but seeing one person didn't bother him that much. At least he couldn't see his classmates' lifespans when he was looking at the back of their heads all day.

Light went into his classroom and sat at his desk. The teacher didn't waste any time and started with the subject right away. It was English class, and the teacher was reading a paragraph from their text book. He was gazing out the window when a voice behind him caught his attention.

"Hey, Light," a classmate of his whispered. "Can I copy your homework? I kind of.. forgot." Light turned around to look at him. A sheepish smile spread across his classmate's face. Light gave him a tired smile. Light wasn't the kind that let himself be used, oh no. He'd simply decline if someone asked for his assistance just because they were lazy to do it, but he would gladly offer his help to those who truly needed it. He was used to help Sayu with her math homework more than often. He knew his classmate was going through a hard time. He lost his father recently. They were neighbors, and his mother told him to help his classmate and support him at times like this. Light was just about to pass him the homework paper when the teacher called his name.

"Light, are you still with us?"

"Hm?" Light moved his gaze to meet the teacher's eyes. He wasn't upset, Light knew. He was one of his favorite students after all.

"Can you please translate the following sentence into English?"

* * *

"Did you find anything new?" Soichiro Yagami asked as he entered the meeting. Everyone was gathered there. It was one of the biggest cases The NPA ever worked on. A large group of the most dangerous assassins and serial killers were cooperating, and spread all over Japan. They had killed approximately 83 people in a matter of four days, and the number was still going up. They sent anonymous letters to the police, mocking them. To get the meaning of every letter, they had to solve a puzzle included in it. It was driving everyone insane at the NPA, especially Soichiro. He absolutely hated it when there were criminals out there, freely corrupting the country and doing as they please. But this .. this was something new. Never had they encountered anything like that in years. No, in decades. A barbarous massacre. They'd been trying their best to keep the news from spreading, otherwise the whole country would panic.

"Chief! L sent a message. He needs to talk to us ASAP. Watari is going to be here in person soon." Said a very worked up Aizawa as he was standing. Sure enough, L, the greatest detective in the world, was helping the police on a case like that. They knew they wouldn't be able to solve it on their own. And likewise, L wasn't able to solve the case on his own either, for he needed _pawns_. And the case was interesting enough.

"Okay, thank you, Aizawa."

Soon enough, Watari was facing them all, his laptop in his hands. He wasted no time, and turned it on. Everyone was seated at their place, feeling tense. As an old 'L' appeared on the screen, a robotic voice greeted them.

"Greetings everyone," L said. "I believe you all heard about the latest killings. They succeeded in killing two of the owners of a very important company in Japan last night. I believe you're all aware of that?"

"Yes, L, we received the reports. But they have killed more than two people yesterday, L. They murdered two families along with some other men." Soichiro replied, his nervousness showing in his voice, but his eyes looked determined nevertheless.

"I'm aware of that. However, the two owners of the company were not the real targets."

Everyone's eyes went wide at that statement. Soichiro was the first to react. "What do you mean, L? Did they kill someone else on purpose? Was it a trap by the leader?"

"No, actually, it was a trap by me." L said, as calm as ever. "After some investigation, I was able to know their killing pattern. The last letter you received was actually a key, a hint. I believe it was some sort of trap to deceive the police, but they simply made a mistake this time. The letter contained the location of the murder. If you write the first word of each sentence together backwards, you get the location.

"More importantly, I had two men willing to cooperate on this part. I made them disguise as the two owners, and the assassin fell for it. We had him in custody and made him reveal to us the whereabouts of their leader. However, I believe the rest of the group don't know of his absence yet, but when they do, I think they'll try to revenge. They might as well threaten the lives of innocent people in Japan, so please be cautious."

Soichiro was simply shocked. He was glad that L was able to actually know the whereabouts of their leader, and in a matter of only four days since the killings started. L was just that amazing.

But another feeling made him freeze right there and then. If somehow the assassins group got information about him or about the NPA members, then his own family was in danger. It was what he feared the most, his worst nightmare. He would never put their lives at risk, even if he had to sacrifice his life. In fact, he would gladly do that for his family.

But now, he knew there was no turning back. He said he'd take on his case, and it was impossible for him to give up now. Not when there was a massacre out there in his own country.

"L, do you think they'd be able to get information about us or our families? I mean, they would be able to threaten our families' lives, or simply use them to set us up." Soichiro looked directly at the webcam, his face serious.

"Yes. In fact, there's a 56% chance that this is their plan to get what they want. Gentlemen, I require your full assistance on this case. Please be aware that it might even endanger your own lives. However, I will do everything I can to ensure the safety of your families. So, please make your decision."

In the end, only two of the NPA team left, which meant most of the team was willing to capture the assassins no matter what. Soichiro was relieved, and it somehow lift his spirit. "Okay, L. How are we going to deal with the assassins?"

"I have a plan."

* * *

A/N: Reply to ChillingShadow: thank you for your sweet review! X3 and yes, I'm into writing this story, and I'll try to update as often as I can :D  
P.S. Reviews encourage me :3

hehe :D if you want to think that Ryuk dropped the death note and light just missed seeing it, you're free to do so! mwahaha!

Future chapters are likely to be way longer. There will be more action and angst. Oh yes, angst :D To be honest, I don't like talking about cases and how things are done in the NPA and bleh blah bleh, so I'll put more Light in the future chapters! :3  
I'll try to update every day, or maybe every two days. I have a lot of free time :D yey.  
Umm, review please? :3


	3. Realization

Realization

* * *

L was sure it was the perfect plan.

He informed the NPA members about his plan, and they agreed. they were going to send spies amongst the assassins, know when and where they're going to meet, and then _strike._ Although it might take some time, it was worth it, L was sure. It was still November 23rd, and the NPA was going to take action on December 4th. L had arranged everything so it would benefit them. he intended to leave a period of time before going on with his plan to see if the assassins were going to move first, or if they had set a trap for the police. He, of course, hired professional bodyguards to ensure the safety of the NPA members' families without them even knowing it. If the assassins chose to attack, they were simply giving their lives away. It was like a chess game, whoever makes the right move first wins.

The NPA members were investigating more about the assassins and their leader during that time. Not that they found anything important about him though. He hid his identity well, but now that they knew his whereabouts, it turned out to their advantage. The assassin L captured and took to custody said that all the group was going to have a meeting soon, but refused to say anything else about that matter, so it was their job to get the information. Half of the NPA members were going to keep investigating from the office, while the rest of them were going to disguise and spy on their leader and get the information.

As for the dangerous part, L was going to send a specialized team to capture and arrest the assassins.

"They know well how to defend themselves, and they're a lot faster when it comes to taking action," L said. "However, I considered every possibility and outcome, and everything should go according to plan."

* * *

November 28th

After the last bell had announced the end of the day, Light realized something. He didn't want to go home. Something about it made him feel more depressed than ever. His dad was never home that week, his mother looked miserable, and he learned about the case.

He learned about the case.

After going home 5 days earlier, he went home right after school. He greeted his mother with a fake, weary smile and headed to his room. Locking his door behind him, he looked around. His room was dark. The curtains prevented any light from seeping through them, and it was cloudy outside anyway. he glanced at his computer, which was perfectly lying still the way he left it that morning, but something about it was off. He felt like it was waiting for him all day.

He placed his schoolbag beside his desk, and threw himself on his chair. He stared for quite a while at his computer. Maybe he shouldn't really learn anything about the case. He was curious, yes, but Light knew that sometimes it was better if you didn't know about some things. Maybe his dad would end the case soon, return home and tell him everything about it. Maybe there wasn't anything to worry about at all. Even if he learned about the case, what could he possibly do?

He knew that he couldn't do anything to help his father but tell him about his thoughts and theories about the cases. Sometimes _his _theories were correct and thanks to him, the NPA had been able to solve many cases before. But this was different. If his father didn't ask for his help then he didn't need it. Or maybe it meant it was dangerous for Light to know about it.

Light shook that thought out of his head. He wanted to believe nothing was wrong about his father, and that there was nothing to worry about. But deep down, he felt anxious and somewhat solicitous. He didn't like it one bit. He needed to know the truth.

After some hesitation, Light opened his computer, hacked into his father's computer and copied the case files to his own. Hands trembling, he moved the cursor to one of the files.

_Click._

Light's eyes widened as pictures of the victims, covered in a deep red canopy greeted him. He saw faces, and saw their names above their head, but no lifespan. It seemed like every picture was worse than the last one. And the worst part is that there were so many pictures. A _massacre. _So that's what it was. He felt his chest tighten, and his hands clutch and form fists. He never saw any case like that on his father's computer, and he never saw such an unrelenting, vicious thing before. It was sickening. Well, his mother had the right to keep it from them. if Sayu heard about it, she wouldn't be able to sleep.

He put his thoughts aside and forced his eyes to look at pictures in front of him. He wondered briefly how the news never mentioned something like that. The number of victims was obviously huge, and it certainly was something that people should be aware of. So not only was this case a secret from Light, but also a secret from the whole world.

He read through the files. They mentioned everything about the victims, how they were killed, and the anonymous letters. Light frowned at the number of the victims. It had to be a group of people, and a large one too. No individual could do such a thing. But what confused Light the most was that there wasn't any information and the murderers. If they could hide so well after killing so many people and not even leaving a single trace, then they were no ordinary criminals. He couldn't help but wonder what the police was planning to do about it.

He felt his heart sink. So his father _was _in danger. And Light simply couldn't do anything about it. His heart started to beat faster then, feeling the anger grow inside of him. He _hated _feeling helpless. He thought about calling his father at work, but decided against it. He knew how much he hated being disturbed during work. The last thing Light remembered doing that day was burying his head in his hands and falling asleep at his desk after four hours of non-stop thinking.

But now, he couldn't change the fact that he knew about the case. About the secret massacre. The idea of it seemed more like a horror movie, really. Light felt depression and anxiousness creep into his chest, so instead of going home, he headed to the park. At least he could stay away from his mother's sad eyes for a while. Perhaps the pleasant sight of the yellow and orange trees will make him forget for a while. Perhaps.

As Light was walking down the crowded street heading to the park, something caught his eyes. He saw bright red letters getting closer. Now, he was used to seeing peoples' names, but that particular name pulled his eyes towards it. It wasn't written in Japanese, but in Roman characters. An old English man. There weren't many English people in the area Light was living in. but again, it wasn't something extraordinary to see foreign people in Japan. Most of them were tourists, or maybe on business trips. But that man looked like neither a business man nor a tourist.

Light looked in front of him again when the old man got closer, hoping that the man hadn't noticed. They passed by each other, and Light thought nothing more about it.

When he reached the park, he was disappointed. Even the park looked sadder than usual. The trees looked pale, almost dead. He realized just then that dark clouds started to gather. Ha, whenever he got depressed, clouds covered the sky. How ironic.

He walked to a bench and sat down. He set his schoolbag beside him and then stared at nothing. There was hardly anyone at the park, which he was thankful for. He needed to clear his mind. Light was always the kind that liked to find solutions to his problems, and plan everything he was going to do. If he wasn't satisfied about something, he would change it. It made him feel better, and that he had control over his life. It made him feel strong.

But for once, Light wanted to stop thinking.

He knew there was nothing, completely _nothing _he could do about that case. It was an unfamiliar feeling. And he _despised _it. There wasn't enough information on his dad's computer, and there wasn't any progress so far. And even if the NPA knew information other than the things he found so far, he couldn't get his hands on it. It was the first time he couldn't think about a solution. And the only time he couldn't find a solution, it involved the safety of his father.

He felt like he was betraying his father somehow. Soichiro Yagami was someone whom Light looked up to. He wanted to take his father's route and become like him after all. His father resembled justice to him. Never giving up on cases, working hard, and always making sacrifices. He was his hero.

But now that his job endangered his life, Light, for the first time in his life, wished that his father had a different job. He missed seeing his father around, and he didn't see him for a whole week now. He missed hearing him when he said he was proud of him. It wasn't because he liked the compliments, but it made him feel better to know that his father was happy with him.

"I wish I had told him that."

Light surprised himself with his own words, and shook the thoughts out of his head quickly. No, no, no. He didn't want to start thinking like that. His father knew what he was doing. His father was justice, and justice always prevails.

He put his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground. Although he didn't even know he was saying those words, something about them made realize something. Something about it stung. It was true, he never showed his father that he cared. He never approached his father smiling and saying, "Dad, you're the best!" like good sons did. No, he was too preoccupied with school and grades. He was too selfish.

It was getting dark by the time he finally became aware of his surroundings. Just as he grasped his schoolbag and stood up, it began to rain. Sighing heavily, he started to walk home.

* * *

A/N: yey another chapter. Well, tell me what you think! :D

Don't post your guesses please :P BTW, light has no idea who L is, and never heard of him.


	4. Change

Change

* * *

"Light! Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you." His mother put down the phone she'd been holding, and ran to her completely soaked son. "Your clothes are wet. You better go change before you catch a cold, dear." She put one hand on his wet sleeve and started leading him to his room.

"Sorry, mother, I was just staying in the nearby park for a while. I guess I lost track of time." He put on one of his many apologetic and sheepish faces for the sake of his mother. He didn't need to make her worry more than she already is.

"Your father is here for dinner. He finally took a break from work. Isn't that wonderful?" she turned to look at him, a great smile spread across her face. "He's in the living room. After you change, you should come down quickly; dinner will be ready within minutes." His mother finally let go of his arm, and Light started heading towards his room. On his way, he glanced in the living room. His father was indeed there, sitting on the couch and watching the news. It seemed as he never heard Light enter the house. Light paused.

"Da-" Light started, but his words came to a halt as his father turned to face him. He looked older, way older. There were bags under his eyes, as if he never slept in his life. His eyes were uncertain, full of tiredness. His expression was something between determination and … sadness?

But that wasn't the reason Light couldn't bring himself to speak.

The reason was Soichiro Yagami's lifespan.

Light froze in his place. Horror swallowed the blank expression he usually wore, and placed it with fear. He felt his whole stiffen, and couldn't bring his muscles to move. His father's lifespan had decreased _greatly._ Light stared, unbelieving, but the numbers that danced in front of him told him otherwise.

_What happened? Why is he home? Does it mean the case is over? it can't be, he would've told me earlier. But if it's not over then why-_

"Light?" the sound of his father's voice brought him back to reality. Even his voice sounded older. Light looked away from the dreading numbers and back into his father's eyes, realizing he'd been staring at them for too long. Now the expression moved from Light's face to his father's, as if it were a ghost that haunted faces. "Is something the matter?"

Swallowing, Light regained control over himself and forced himself to calm down. Or at least forced himself to _look_ calm. "I'm fine, Dad. I'm just surprised to see you here, that's all. Is the case over?"

"I'm afraid not, Light. We're all still working on it."

Silence.

"Why don't you go change your clothes, Light. We'll talk over dinner." He gave Light a small smile, not wanting him to worry. But Light wasn't falling for it, and Soichiro knew it. Light understood the people around him better than most people, and he understood his family best. He was, after all, a natural genius, and his father was aware of it. But sometimes, they would pretend nothing was wrong and act like a father and his son.

"Yeah, I'll be down in a couple of minutes," With that, Light disappeared in the shadows of the dark staircase.

After what seemed like ages, Light finally reached his room. The stairs looked foreign to him, and somehow endless. he didn't feel alive. He felt more like a walking corpse. The next thing Light knew, he was lying on his bed, still in his wet clothes and shoes. He couldn't believe it. No, he didn't _want _to believe it. It looked as if his life turned upside down. Everything was okay. He silently cursed himself. Why did he, of all people, have those damn eyes?

Light felt the corners of his eyes get wet.

_Don't cry. Not now._

* * *

Dinner was normal. Or so it seemed. Sachiko made donburi for dinner, since it was Soichiro's favorite dish, and she wanted to welcome him back home for the day, and men-rui as a side dish. Everyone was seated in their usual place; Sayu was sitting beside Light and across from their parents. Usually, over dinner, everyone would chat and talk about stuff that happened during the day or any funny situations. Soichiro would avoid talking about work. Sayu would tease her brother about him eating fast. Sachiko would go over about subjects like how she chose to cook that particular meal, or praise Light's work and efforts at school, and he would feign embarrassment.

But none of that happened that day.

"So Light, how's school going?" Soichiro asked, his eyes never meeting Light's.

"It's fine, I guess. Same old, same old." He didn't move his gaze from his plate; his eyes hollow. "Dad? Is the case over?" He asked a question he already knew the answer to, but it was worth a shot.

"No, I'm afraid not." Soichiro didn't seem like he was going to say anything more.

"The police is going to do something about it soon, isn't it?"

Soichiro looked startled at Light's question. But then again, he surprised him lots of times before; it wasn't a first. His son was a genius. "Yes, Light. The case _is _going to end soon. We've found the criminal and the next part is just capturing and arresting him."

_They found the criminal? _

"Ah, that's good, darling!" Sachiko said, clapping her hands together.

_If only she knew. _

"That's great Dad! It means you're going to come home soon, right?"

_Sayu you idiot._

Light bit his tongue. This wasn't good.

Despite his shock earlier, he forced his mind to think. He knew if this was his father's fate, then he could do nothing about it. But his father's lifespan wasn't the same as it is now the last time he saw him before he joined that case. Then could it increase again? There had to be something he could do. He didn't want to lose the only one he looked up to, no.

"Dad, drop the case."

* * *

December 4th

_7:00 a.m._

The NPA members were all at work on time, prepared for the mission. Aizawa, Matsuda, Mogi and Soichiro were to going to be the spies. They all wore their bugged clothes that were connected to L's computer and the NPA's headquarters so everyone would keep track of what they did and hear everything the culprits said. Everyone was focused, running around to get ready and prepare everything on time.

Well, everyone except Soichiro Yagami.

He was thinking about what Light had said to him the other day. His son never, _never_, told him to drop a case before. Light always encouraged his father top solve cases and catch the criminals. He even chose his same path to become a policeman.

But his son's request caught him off guard that day. Everyone looked at Light, but he didn't seem to even notice the shocked faces around him. Instead of explaining further, he looked down in his plate, his hair covering his eyes and his face paler than usual. When Soichiro asked him about the reason why, he'd simply said,

"I don't want to lose you."

Soichiro thought his son was worried about him and nothing more. It was natural for a son to be worried about a father, after all. Soichiro kindly explained to him that this was his duty and that he knew what he was doing, but his reaction wasn't expected. He stormed to his room without a word; without even finishing his dinner. His mom had called after him but Soichiro told he'd be okay. It was true that his part was seriously dangerous, but he understood that he was responsible for the whole thing; he was the chief after all, and besides, L made sure that the plan was thought through and even made another group of people work undercover in case something occurred.

But still, Light's words left him uneasy somehow …

_9:07 a.m._

L called the NPA to inform them about the additional details, A.K.A the things he kept hidden from them.

"…and after Aizawa gets the information we need from said culprit, he'll drug him." L said coolly.

Aizawa stared. _Drug _him? That was new.

"What do you mean, L?" Anger started to show Aizawa's face. to drug someone to make unconscious was illegal, and if the culprit is drugged, then after he comes to, they'll absolutely seek revenge before they get to go through with their plan. He just didn't understand L's logic.

"I figured it was the best course of action to take, Mr. Aizawa. I apologize if I forgot to mention this to you earlier, but please be prepared."

Yes, of course, the greatest detective in the world forgot. That's normal. Aizawa didn't like the way L did things, but he kept his mouth shut. There was no turning back now.

"L, can I please talk to you in private for a second?" Soichiro asked, after some thinking earlier. He wasn't afraid of dying, and he wasn't going to back up now, even after what Light had told him. But he wanted to know something.

"Of course, Mr. Yagami. Watari, please follow Mr. Yagami to a private place." L seemed like he was expecting that. Weird. It made Yagami's doubts grow even more.

Soichiro stood up and started to walk out of the room. Watari held the laptop and followed him to the hallway where no one was around. Soichiro then turned and glanced to the unmoving letter L on the screen, and he seemed to be trying to imagine that he was talking to a real person. A middle-aged man, with glasses and very neat clothes; that's how he always imagined him. But sometimes, just sometimes, he thought he was talking to a robot.

"L, is there anything about the plan I should know?" he wasn't sure what, but he had a feeling.

He was greeted with silence for a moment, however.

"… yes, there is. I apologize for not telling you sooner, but please understand.

"Mr. Yagami, I've looked through your health records, and apparently you'd been in bad conditions before due to stress. I'm afraid with all the work you've done so far on this case and the number of hours you sleep a day because of it, I'm afraid it will affect your health. Please take care from now on. However, regarding today's mission, you've been replaced." L said it all so quickly that Soichiro was barely able to comprehend what he was saying. He'd been replaced? He knew the mission was dangerous from the beginning, but was there something that L knew that the rest of them didn't? was that why he asked Aizawa to drug the culprit?

"L, with all my respect, I took on this case knowing that it's a risk, and my health conditions won't stop me now from my duty. It was my decision after all to take any chance."

"I'm afraid it's been settled, Mr. Yagami. The team I've sent is already on the move. You're going to keep track of their movements from the NPA headquarters. I apologize again."

L would never admit it out loud, but he cared about NPA members' lives. Sacrificing the lives of noble men who were ready to push themselves to the limits in the name of justice wasn't an option on his list. He valued their lives.

And in addition to that, he had respect for Soichiro, who'd been trustworthy during the years he'd worked with L, and L wasn't someone who trusted people easily, if he trusted anyone at all.

* * *

A/N: Light's such a goodie-goodie, isn't he? xD btw, L and Light hopefully are going to meet very very soon.

So Soichiro's out of danger! Happy now, Light?


	5. Checkmate

Checkmate

* * *

Well, Soichiro knew he couldn't possibly argue with L. If that man made a decision, no authority in the world could stop him. He could move the FBI with one word, start a war, or end it with a single order. He was like a dangerous train that no one could step in front of, or ask to slow down.

But Soichiro never imagined that L would someday put the safety of one of the men whom he worked with before a case. His expression had gone from mildly confused to soft, thinking about it. So L wasn't the heartless detective who put priorities upon priorities, not being considerate for others as everyone else implied.

But that decision couldn't stop running around his head. He'd been replaced. He could see why L made that decision, and what he said was true. He had had been to hospital a couple of times before for pushing himself too hard at work, and every time that happened his whole family would come rushing to him, and he'd feel guilty for the anxious and sad look on their faces. Maybe he was growing old. Maybe he'd retire soon.

His eyes closed, and he drew a deep breath then let it out slowly. Everything was happening too fast. He didn't even get the chance to see his own children grow. No, he'd been away from home for far too long. And now, his son was about to start university in a matter of a few months. His eyes half-opened when he thought about Light. He remembered his weird behavior the other day, and his odd request. He had seemed _very _upset about his reply. Well, maybe he would be relieved when he tells him.

"Okay, L, I trust your decision. But if I'm replaced, then where would I be?"

"You're going to be here at headquarters keeping track of the plan with the others, Mr. Yagami. If necessary, you shall keep in touch with Mr. Aizawa and Mr. Mogi and instruct them while they're on the mission." Soichiro nodded his head in agreement, and he and Watari went back to the office. It was still fifteen past nine in the morning, and their plan was supposed to start exactly at eleven p.m. when the assassins started their move.

After L had explained every detail, and answered every question about the plan, Soichiro decided to call Light and tell him. He excused himself from the office for a moment and headed to the hallway for some privacy. Sighing, he took out his phone and dialed Light's number.

* * *

On Saturdays, Light usually woke up early like he was always used to, ate breakfast, headed outside for the gym or the park for a jog, or a long walk. He'd after that come back home and help his father with whatever case he was working on, and if his father wasn't at home, he'd do his homework, or study something that interested him. He always liked being active, to make the wheels of his mind running all the time.

But that Saturday morning, he didn't bother himself to even get out of bed.

He felt like a wreck, a worthless being that didn't deserve every breath he inhaled. He wasn't thinking properly. His father was going to _die_ and he couldn't do anything about it, for God's sake! That day, before he even asked his father to drop the case he _knew _what his answer was going to be, and he knew that there's nothing, absolutely nothing that could make his father quit the case even if he knew it was risky and may cost him his life. That's just the way his father was.

He knew he just couldn't go and tell his father he saw his lifespan and that he was going to die in the next few days. His mother would think he'd gone crazy, and would be terrified if she hears things like this from her own son. Or perhaps they'd think he was just making some kind of a sick joke. He wouldn't blame them. it wasn't their fault that their son was a _freak. _

His eyes half-opened, and the image was blurry. All he could see was the faint looming stream of the sun's pale light that was seeping through the curtain, making him see tiny twinkling and blurry droplets of water. When had he started crying? He brought his arm in front of his face and turned to his side to block the light out. If only it were that easy to block the whole world with all its misfortunes out. Light hated himself. It wasn't his fault that he was able to see death, but he hated himself.

His thoughts crumbled in his head as he realized something. He never _actually _tried to tell anyone about his "ability", or rather him being a completely freak. Would anyone believe him? Would his mother believe him? That thought disappeared as quickly as it came. He was always afraid of reactions, of what his family thought about him. He knew that they loved him, but would they be able to handle the shock? No, his mother wouldn't be able to handle it. It was already too much for her to bear, especially with his father's repetitive "incidents".

He wondered briefly if he would meet someone different who would believe him and accept him.

_No, it'll always be like this. It won't change._

He was awakened from his shallow slumber by the familiar ringtone that was accompanied by the faint vibrating sound coming from his phone. He opened his still-watery eyes and glanced at his phone. Hm, weird. No one called him during weekends. The only calls he got were some of his classmates during the week, for some assistance with their homework or _something_ related to school. No one called him to just _talk_ to him; it always involved school.

By the time he reached for his phone, it was already ringing for the third time. He pulled the phone and glanced at the caller number.

"Dad?"

* * *

_2:45 p.m. _

L sighed.

He stabbed his strawberry cheesecake with his fork, and shoved the piece in his mouth. He never really dealt with anything like this before; only that one time in England when there was a group of serial killers who threatened families for money, but their group wasn't that large; plus that time in Australia with something familiar. But he never encountered a group that started a direct war with the police, and daring them to make a move.

L wasn't anxious; he was sure, but he still couldn't explain why he was chewing on his thumb that day with more force than it required, or why he attacked his cheesecake in such a manner that it caused the crunchy part to crumble. He watched the cheesecake with uncertain eyes before he let go of the fork and started chewing on his thumb once more and moved his gaze to the glowing computer screen before him.

The leader of the assassins, Katsuo Takayuki, hadn't changed his location despite the assassin L captured and questioned. L had a feeling he was up to something, but then again, there was a 64.3% chance that he didn't even take notice of his absence, due to their _enormous _number. L knew how these organizations worked and made plenty of studies on them ever since he started his career as a detective. The leader of the group hired other members to keep track of the rest of the group.

He went over the whole plan to make sure everything was flawless.

Still, L couldn't shove the feeling away…

He sighed.

* * *

_9:00 p.m__._

The task force was ready. Everyone was in their position. Soichiro was at the office along with others, monitoring the location the assassins would be meeting in, and every move of the task force members, who had their clothes bugged with cameras of course.

Aizawa, Matsuda and Mogi were wearing over-sized T-shirts, hoodies and loose pants, looking like a gang group themselves. L suppressed a laugh when he saw them on his computer screen. Aizawa looked like someone who used a time machine to get to this year with his afro hair, and with the hoodie it was a weird mix. They even hid flip-knives for the sake of the disguise, although they wouldn't hesitate to use it in case of an emergency. Aizawa had a bottle of chloroform and piece of cloth with him, since he was going to drug the culprit he was after after questioning him, and Aizawa wasn't quite comfortable about it.

The rest of the task force sat in front of the computers, ready for anything. The NPA even had back-up to help if necessary. They were going to get the information today, and then arrest them during the assassins' meeting. They were sure their meeting was going to take place in the next week or so, and they wanted to make sure they were to move fast.

"I see everyone's ready. Aizawa-san, you're going to move first, in about 30 minutes. Please make sure you play the role well, or else they won't fall for it. Mogi-san, you should be moving from this building after Aizawa-san at exactly 10:20 p.m., and go through with your part of the plan." L said as everyone gave him their complete concentration.

He paused, then added, "Matsuda-san, please don't mess things up."

"Yes, L!" Said Matsuda, standing straighter. Although Matsuda was sometimes an idiot, L was sure he was loyal to his job, that's why he let him in the case anyway. And he had to admit, Matsuda looked good in his yellow hoodie. He wondered what _he'd _look like if he wore a hoodie.

L shook that thought quickly, not knowing where it had come from. He was a detective. A detective in hiding. He didn't need to waste time choosing clothes and stuff like that, no. these things were for college students and teenagers who liked to waste time socializing with others and act like everyone expected them to. These things weren't meant for him.

But sometimes …

No, L didn't care.

He put his thoughts aside and glanced at Soichiro. Something was definitely off about him.

"Soichiro-san, are you okay?"

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry, I was thinking about something."

"No, there's no need to apologize. Is there anything you're wondering about involving the case that's worrying you?" Asked L, genuinely concerned.

"No, not at all."

* * *

_11:00 p.m._

Finally, it was time. Mogi, Aizawa and Matsuda were out of the building and heading towards the place where the assassins' were supposed to meet. Everyone at headquarters was watching with eager eyes. Watari had left but left the laptop at headquarters to keep L in touch with everyone during the plan, and tell them what needed to be done.

The battle was on. The assassins were indeed at the specified location. It was an old warehouse in an isolated place. The mere look of it sent chills down Matsuda's spine.

"Hey, are we going to really enter that place? But what if they were armed and expecting us?" Asked Matsuda, eyes wide with worry.

"That's enough Matsuda, you've been complaining about this from the beginning. This is the point of no return, unless you wanted to quit." Whispered Aizawa, to force Matsuda to concentrate. And it seemed to work.

"I'm not quitting!"

They were watching the place from behind a nearby building. Mogi, as usual, was silent the whole time. It was half an hour past eleven and none of the assassins arrived yet, but L told them earlier they might not arrive until it was even midnight. Matsuda complained. Aizawa's eyes narrowed. Mogi stayed silent.

This was going to be a long night.

Suddenly, a movement brought them to look in the warehouse direction. The first assassin arrived. He didn't look armed, But they couldn't be so sure. But it didn't matter at the time, they needed to move. The three of them heard L's voice in their ears.

_"Everyone, this is the first assassin, please go on with the plan and do not arouse suspicion."_

Soon enough, Aizawa was following the assassin, heart beating fast. When he was close enough, the assassin stopped to look at him, eyes suspicious.

"Yo, sup bro. 'heard there's gonna be a meeting, as K.T. said, 'where's that?" Aizawa asked, as calmly as he could. Now, he didn't see how approaching the assassin and asking him _directly _would work. But he reminded himself that this was _L_'s plan.

The assassin eyed him suspiciously. He never saw him before, but he mentioned K.T., their leader, then he must be one of them. No one out of the group knew the true identity of their leader after all.

"What's the password?"

Password? Uh-oh. Aizawa wasn't prepared for that.

_"Did you know that Shinigami love apples?" _Aizawa heard L whisper to him through the device. L sure knew a lot of things.

"Did you know that Shinigami love apples?" Aizawa echoed.

Soichiro and the rest of the team followed every move through their computers. Everything was going smoothly, perfectly, and according to plan. Soichiro mentally complimented Aizawa on his great performance. _He_ wouldn't have been able to act so smoothly, and he would've looked weird in a hoodie. He wasn't young anymore anyway, and he was glad L made that decision.

They all held their breaths while hearing Aizawa's conversation with the assassin. The whole plan depended on it. Everything was going smoothly with Aizawa so far.

When Aizawa successfully got the information needed from the assassin, they all let a sigh of relief at once. _Success._

However, L wasn't relieved just yet. He knew the serious part of the plan hadn't started yet. His face was too close to his computer screen, as if he could actually transfer himself through the screen. He waited for Aizawa to get the information, and then ordered him to drug the assassin, which was successfully done. Another success.

L was so absorbed in his own mind thinking about the next moves that he almost didn't hear Watari talk to him, voice almost frantic.

Frantic?

"L," Watari started saying, his usual calm features twisted in what resembled horror. "I checked on Katsuo Takayuki, as you told me to earlier. He's no longer there."

That was the last thing L heard before a sudden loud, exploding noise came through his computer.

L flinched.

It took him about 0.4 seconds to realize something was wrong in the headquarters room. Everyone was standing up, shouting and asking what was wrong. That was when the front door of the office broke and through it came a dark figure, holding something in his hand. No, _their _hands. There were at least four of them.

The task force members realized it too, as they put their hands in their jackets, reaching for their guns. They all moved as fast as they could to the nearest hiding place, let it be an office desk, to get ready for the sudden battle.

However, it was too late to act.

the four culprits were already in the room, guns in hand, threatening everyone in their way. One of them made a sudden move and threw a smoke bomb in the office, and everything faded in heavy fog. Soichiro was holding his gun, hiding under his desk and listening carefully to where the footsteps were. He wanted to attack them without them knowing, but what he heard next made him freeze in his place.

He heard two agonizing screams in a row, and to his horror, he recognized the voices. _Two of his men were down. _The battle was far from over, for the other men on Soichiro's side made their move and succeeded in killing two of the culprits.

Too much was happening too fast.

Soichiro couldn't sit and wait for everything to be over. He just _couldn't_. He raised his head to glance at the horrifying scene. Everything was foggy and blurry, but he could distinguish the two figures standing near the doorway. Too many questions ran through his head in mere seconds. How the _hell_ did they get here? What did they want? _Who were they? _

The movement of one of the culprits snapped him back to reality. He was running away, probably telling the other to follow him. He couldn't hear clearly.

Soichiro stood up, aiming his gun at them both.

_"FREEZE."_ Soichiro yelled at the top of his lungs. They weren't going to run away, not in his watch.

The first figure seemed to pause for a second, but changed his mind and ran as fast as he could. The other one didn't seem so bothered by the ordeal in front of him. He started to move his hands, and Soichiro thought he was going to raise them as a sign of surrendering. He pulled the safety lock, and aimed the gun at the culprit. "If you make a move, I won't hesitate to shoot." Soichiro said bluntly. He then aimed at the culprit's arm, to stop him and not to kill.

And the sound of a gun was heard, echoing in Soichiro's head.

And Soichiro knew it wasn't his gun.

_Checkmate._


	6. Father

Father

* * *

Matsuda, Mogi and Aizawa arrived at headquarters shortly after they'd heard what happened. When Aizawa was done with his part of the plan, he went back to their hiding place and informed L and Soichiro through the device connected him with the rest of the team, but then they heard the noise, and the sound of a bomb. No time was wasted as they called for back-up and rushed to headquarters.

When they arrived at headquarters, they realized that some of the assassins broke into the place. They must have been professional, because they hadn't set off a single alarm. The ambulance siren roared in the air, illuminating the hearts of those who were aware of what was going on. Someone must be injured. Someone in there must have been attacked. Aizawa's heart sank. He stormed into headquarters and pushed himself through all the people gathering in front of it, afraid to know the answer.

Policemen were everywhere, questioning some of the witnesses. Cameras' lights flashed, taking pictures of the victims, immortalizing the sickening scene. Aizawa slowed down. The office he was in just a couple of hours ago was turned upside down, and the air smelled of fresh blood, making him sick to his stomach.

_Whose blood?_

He tried to enter the room but the policemen stopped him. "I'm a police officer, you have o let me in!" he shoved his way through them, and let himself in.

The question answered itself as Aizawa took one glance inside the office. Five dead bodies lay still on the ground, covered in their own blood, and among them, was the body of his chief.

"Oh, God …" Aizawa trailed off, and put his head in his hands. It was a murder. And the murder scene was the National Police Agency office. His eyes gazed away, unable to look anymore. Everything was broken, shot and covered in smoke and blood. The laptop Watari left was no more; its screen broken and crashed.

Matsuda and Mogi followed suit, and stared in horror at their fellow police officers . the shock was unbearable, and caused the youngest of them to collapse on his knees and let out a choked cry. None of them said anything; nothing could be said.

Aizawa swallowed hard. What evil could've done such a thing? Who did it?

And then it hit him.

The assassins. But _how? _And _why?_

"L?" He spoke to the device in his ear. L must've known what was going on by now. He must've had the answers.

But Aizawa got no reply.

"_L?_"

* * *

If L could describe what he felt in words at that moment, he would've used the words "numb, and "horror". But he couldn't.

Once he heard the explosion and the guns, he gave the order to pursuit the culprits and track them down, but other than that, he didn't know what to do.

He just stared at the blank screen in front of him, eyes wide and almost childish with all the fear in them. He clutched his knees with his hands, trying desperately to make them stop shaking. His third cheesecake that day sat on the floor beside him, utterly forgotten.

L was in turmoil.

He had been sure his plan was flawless. His plans _always_ were. He never failed to convict any criminal and arrest them before in his _entire _life. He even went through the plan twice before giving the orders to the police officers, and calculated every move, every word that was supposed to be said. He ordered back-up in case anything went wrong. He analyzed every act and reaction, and estimated every outcome, so what the _hell _went wrong?

Nothing had changed with the assassins' plans, and their leader hadn't changed his location until today. They couldn't possibly get any information on the police's movements or plans. He'd made sure of it. The assassin he arrested was still in his custody, and the others didn't know where e was. They didn't even know L was on this case, and they didn't know he knew their leader's location. He even kept some information hidden from the police in case there were traitors or spies among them.

It was true that taking one of them would arouse suspicion, and that they'd notice his absence sooner or later, but if L let him go, then he was putting the lives of every police officer on the line, and even if they found out that he was missing, then they'd assume he was arrested by the police, and not L. And if that was the case, then they'd inform their leader and _he_ would've changed his location, knowing that the police could attack any minute and capture him.

But on the off chance that they might decide to attack the police, then they wouldn't have attacked them in headquarters; they knew better, the police officers were always armed and ready for any move, and the building had alarms and surveillance cameras everywhere, and they wouldn't have used only four of them for that.

And yet, they succeeded in killing some of the NPA members, and in causing a dilemma for the police and L.

L started shaking violently at that thought. Three lives of noble men were sacrificed, by the hands of some despicable evildoers. He couldn't bear the feeling, it was tearing his mind and soul apart, making it difficult for him to breathe. He hated losing, but if something involved the lives of innocent people, he didn't _allow _himself to lose. Peoples' lives were no light matter.

If Watari wasn't by his side, he would've probably let out a cry from the tormenting pain inside of him.

"L, Aizawa's trying to reach you," Watari said, looking away from his computer screen and at L, eyes full of concern. Although L was so good at hiding his feelings and keeping a straight face at most times, Watari could sense he was feeling quite uncomfortable. And that was a rare thing.

"What am I going to say, Watari?" L said, his voice seeming uncontrollable and shaky, as he tried to hide his eyes beneath his hair. "Tell him what we know so far. If he asks more questions, don't answer him directly until we're certain of what happened."

After Watari was done with his conversation, he turned to L.

"L," Watari said, his voice soft.

"What is it, Watari."

"It isn't your fault."

L stopped chewing on his finger just then, but kept his gaze fixed on the screen.

There was a brief pause.

"Thank you, Watari." He said, very softly. Watari was like the father he never had. Well, at least sometimes. In front on anyone he would act like his assistant, butler and even chauffeur, and kept it professional, but sometimes, when they were alone, he showed how he genuinely cared for L. And L was thankful for whatever affection he could get…

But now, he needed to act like the detective L, and avenge Soichiro Yagami and the other two police officers.

He didn't even want to think how they were going to inform their families.

* * *

Light woke up to his mother's voice coming from downstairs. She was talking to someone, a male, and it didn't seem familiar. The voices were muffled so he couldn't really understand what they were saying. All he could distinguish were the Yes's and the No's coming from his mother. He got out of his bed, opened the door slightly, and listened.

"Ma'am, I need to know if you got an threatening messages in the last week. Did anything of this kind happen?" The man asked.

"N-no," Sachiko answered, hesitantly. "What's going on, please? Why do you want to know? D-did something happen?" Light frowned. His mother's voice was shaky and scared.

Pause.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I don't know how to tell you this, but your husband was killed tonight. It happened during the …. "

Light didn't hear anything after that. Time seemed to freeze, and his heart seemed to stop.

_Killed_.

The word seemed to echo in his head for hours, while it had been mere seconds. His father. Killed.

Light's room started to spin around in a creepy dance as those words sank in, along with his mother's loud sobs. He clenched his doorknob with both of his hands, trying to balance himself, and suddenly all the food he ate earlier started to boil in his stomach. He covered his mouth with his hands, until the wave of nausea went away, then put his head in his arms and fell hard on his knees, his vision swimming.

His mother's sobs got louder, and sounded more choked.

His sister woke up, rushing down the stairs, probably thinking her mother merely had a small accident.

Oh, Sayu, your thoughts are so innocent.

Just like your sobs. I haven't heard you cry for _so long._

You're always happy. Well, were.

I'm sorry you didn't get to talk to him on the phone when I did, just a few hours ago.

I'm sorry, mother. I'm sorry you have to carry the sorrow on your shoulders now.

I'm sorry I couldn't do anything.

* * *

_"Light," Soichiro said, patting his only son's head. "You look busy! What are you writing down?" _

_"Ah! Hey Dad," Said eight-year-old Light, looking away from the papers in his hand and looking in his father's eyes. "I'm sorry," he apologized, smiling sheepishly. _

_He was sitting at his father's desk, looking at some reports of his old cases and writing He was completely focused on them that he didn't notice his father approach him. His father had just gotten home from work, surprised once again to see his son into police cases._

_"Don't apologize, I know you like to do that. Light, what do you want to be when you grow up?"_

_"I've always known. I want to be a detective."_

_"You seem to like detective's work. Too much."_

_"I do."_

_his father smiled at his son, then sat down beside him and watched silently. There wasn't much to say, so they stayed silent for a while. They didn't spend too much time together after all, so they just enjoyed each other's while they could even if they didn't speak to each other. _

_After a while, Light dropped the reports and reached for some photos on his father's desk, but his father stopped him. No eight-year-old, no matter how brilliant, should see violent photos like these. _

_"No, Light, don't look at these now, okay?"_

_Light frowned. "Okay."_

_"Don't be upset, you'll have plenty of time for that when you become a detective. I know you'll make a great detective, Light. I can't wait to see you on your first day of work," he smiled, "We'll probably even work together." _

_A great smile spread across Light's face._

_"I can't wait either."_

* * *

Time was lost to Light.

He was gazing at the sky. It was sunny, and warm, unlike the past two crazy weeks. He never wanted to look away from it; he didn't want to look at the crowd wearing black around him, nor did he want to see more life spans for the rest of his life. He didn't want to look at his sobbing mother. He didn't want to look at his father's grave. He felt so _hollow_, like he never truly existed. He felt numb.

It was three days after his father's murder, along with others, and everyone from his family, and his father's friends and coworkers gathered at his funeral. They held it in the same graveyard that Soichiro's family was buried in. Many police officers stood, all in black uniforms and shrouded badges, with their hats off.

Light stood beside his mother, putting his hand on her shoulder every now and then to comfort her. She wore a long black coat, along with black shoes and a black hat. His sister wore a black dress in the funeral, and Light was glad she was able to come. She had a breakdown after she'd heard of what had happened, and she hadn't spoken since then.

After the service was over, Light stood there, receiving a condolence after another. He lost count of them. He didn't even recognize half of them, as they were his father's coworkers tat Light had never met before. Of course, there were some who were acquaintances to Light, such as Aizawa for he met him before when he worked with his father on a case. But Light's vision was blurry; he didn't really focus on the was going on around him.

Or rather, he didn't want to know what was going on around him.

He closed his eyes, and let out a sigh, and got lost in his thoughts for a while. All he could think about was his father. he didn't tell his father he was sorry. He didn't get to spend some times with him before he passed away. And he didn't get to work with him after all.

Life wasn't fair.

Light was absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't notice when a dark figure approached him. When Light saw two more black shoes standing in front of his own, looking somewhat worn out and their laces barely done properly, he raised his head to look at the man in front of him.

"Yagami-kun. I'm sorry for your loss," The weird man said, his eyes boring into Light's. "Please let me know there's _anything_ I can do for you." His voice was soft and full of concern. He put his hands in his black jacket's pocket and stood there, looking right through Light's soul and mind. He pulled out one hand slowly, grasping a piece of paper, and handed it to Light.

Light looked at the paper for a moment, uncertain, then took it hesitantly. "Thank you for your sympathy," He said, and the man nodded, and turned to leave.

Light saw an old man waiting for him beside a car, and recognized him right away. He was the same old English man whom he ran into in the park the other day. When the dark-haired man reached him, he gave Light one last look before he got into the car and zoomed off.

Light opened the piece of paper in his hand. It had a number, with no name or anything else. Weird. He never saw the man before, he was sure he wasn't a relative, and he was too young to be working with his father. Then who was he?

Light put the piece of paper in his pocket, and turned to leave with his mother and Sayu.

* * *

A\N: Yes, I think L would wear black running shoes to a funeral xD He's L! I believe he really respected Soichiro in the anime and manga. isn't he just sweet? =)

Poor Sachiko. Poor Sayu. Light's the only man in their small family now. will he prove to be a man or will he abadon them? jk xD I'm not giving anything away. xD

thanks for everyone who reviewed because YOU MADE MY DAY! This is my longest chapter so far, and don't worry, L and Light are going to meet soon, and I'm REALLY sorry it's taking so long because I KNOW it's boring if these two weren't together, but they're meeting REALLY REALLY soon. so please review, i wanna know what you think! :D :D

Thank you for reading! :D

I hope you enjoy.


	7. Fading Light

Warning\ strong language and dark themes.

* * *

Fading Light

* * *

Light's world was crashing down.

He couldn't stand it anymore.

Ever since the funeral, his father's pictures seemed to be clearer now; he'd notice things he never noticed before, like how the wrinkles around his eyes looked like happy little faces, or how his eyes looked brighter when he smiled. Whenever he walked in the living room, he'd see their family picture, hanging on the wall. He'd see his name above his head, but he wouldn't see his lifespan. He'd often see his mother's eyes red and puffy from crying, but she'd smile at him. His sister Sayu hardly spoke at all.

The house seemed more empty. And there would be one empty chair each dinner, and silence would plague their meals.

He felt sad. He felt depressed. He felt hatred curl up in his chest and claw at it, making him want to die, just to get rid of his rollercoaster of emotions. Light Yagami wasn't his old self anymore. He felt more like there was a dark force in his soul that filled him with feelings he never experienced before. He even felt a sudden urge on more than one occasion to hurt himself. He hated his bloody eyes. He hated his damn life.

_I could've saved him. _Damn _it. I had the damn information, I knew what was going on, why didn't I do anything?_

_You bastard._

He was in his room, sitting at his desk and glaring at the bunch of books opened in front of him. He ran his eyes through them, but he wasn't really reading. Although it was cold outside, he didn't wear anything more than a light black sweater and cotton pants. He didn't fucking care if he got the flu. In fact, he'd be fucking grateful for it. what was he thinking when he decided to let the NPA work this case out by themselves? Light shoved away the books and hit his head on the desk. He had been foolish.

And now that he proved to himself that he was a worthless _idiot_ that couldn't make the right decision when innocent people needed his help the most, when his own _father_ needed his help the most, he wasn't so sure he wanted to be a detective anymore. For his entire life, he was confident, proud and _right_ about everything. But now…

That thought made him jolt.

Had his confidence been built upon nothing but … false reasons?

It was true that everyone around him complimented his work and gave him their thumbs-up. His own father said he was going to make a great detective. But they couldn't possibly say that for only encouraging his hard work ..

Could they ?

Had it all been a mere delusion then?

His reasoning and intellect, and his deductive abilities, were nothing but a hallucination?

No, it couldn't be.

But still, a detective_ should _know what to do and when to take action. He wasn't allowed to make any mistakes, or the price was going to be the souls of those who were involved. Light ran his hand through his hair, glaring harshly at something that didn't exist. If he could see his sharp eyes in a mirror, he wouldn't recognize himself.

If only it wasn't for his _stupid _mistake and misjudging, maybe he would've been able to offer his help once more and arrest the bastards who caused the chaos.

He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead, trying to kill the growing headache. He'd never thought about this before. The thought never even crossed his mind. if he were to make stupid mistakes like his last one, he would make a lousy detective, wouldn't he?

And suddenly all Light's dreams and hopes shattered like a fragile pane of glass.

If he wasn't going to become a detective and rid this rotten world from criminals, then what was he living for?

He couldn't answer that question.

He sat back in his chair, arms hanging loosely close to the floor and his gaze to the ceiling, breathing very slowly, very shallowly. It never occurred to him before that someday he'd feel like this. Ever since he was a little child, he always knew what he wanted to do with his life and had one goal, and focused on it. But now that he proved to himself that he was a total idiot, he felt like his whole life was just a waste of time. A complete waste of time.

_Did I really need to get my father killed to see that? _

_You idiot._

He felt the air get thicker and felt pressure grow on his lungs. Oh, how he despised himself.

His thoughts drifted back to his father. the last words he heard from him were to take care of himself. He had said to Light that he wasn't going to be taking part in the plan anymore, to make Light feel better, and Light believed him; his father wouldn't lie. He felt so relieved that he didn't even contemplate any other possibilities. He couldn't believe how foolish he was. He should've at least asked what the NPA's plan was.

But it had happened after all. His father died, along with two other innocent people. He remembered how his mother sobbed for hours, how his sister couldn't bring herself to speak for days. He knew he was the only man in their family now, the only one who could protect them. They needed him at a time like this, just like they needed his father before.

And yet, there he was, wasting his time and being useless. He was supposed to start college in a few months. Only a few months. He even didn't _feel _like wanting to go to college. Instead of being excited about it, he wished that he could postpone that for some other time. He needed a break, and badly. The last week had been mad, with his father's death and then funeral and … everything.

He thought about the funeral. Had it really been a whole week? It felt like it was only yesterday. He could remember the heart-thrashing sight of his father's grave. He could still hear the voices of everyone who offered their condolences to him, but couldn't really remember the words; he hadn't been truly listening.

But there was one conversation that he did remember. That stranger that gave him the number. Light glanced at his wallet that lay still in his open desk drawer as if he could get the paper out with his eyes. He gave him a number with no name or any other information. was he expecting Light to recognize him, or was he just an idiot?

Light never forgot a face of anyone, so the former option wasn't available.

He was an idiot then.

Did he truly expect Light to call someone he didn't know? Even if the stranger did know him through his father, Light wasn't the kind of person to start talking to people he didn't personally know well. But still, something about the way he spoke to him made Light feel as if he had known him for too long.

No, his thoughts were messy, that's all.

He glanced at his watch. 5 p.m.? has h been sitting at desk for nearly four hours doing nothing? How?

He needed to get out.

* * *

Watari looked up from the book in his hand to see what was irritating L to no end that made him make annoying sounds with his fork on the empty plate – for the third time.

"What's wrong, L? even though you've been able to track down all the assassins, you don't seem- satisfied." Said Watari.

They, after the … that day, caught the two culprits and tracked down the rest of the assassins. It was only a matter of time before every member of them got arrested. Although the leader managed to run away somehow, Watari was sure L would eventually be able to find him, and L would usually be eating cake and looking for other interesting cases to solve.

But today, he seemed irritated over something else.

"I'm out of cake."

"We still have four cakes left in the fridge."

"I'm out of doughnuts."

What was L aiming at wi- Oh.

"Want me to drive you to the bakery? There's one nearby." Watari said. L probably needed to get out from the hotel suit for a while. He didn't get out for weeks after all, ever since the 'incident'. His plans seldom went wrong, and guilt was probably taking it effects on him.

"Yes, that would be appreciated, thank you."

Ever since the funeral, L couldn't stop thinking about Soichiro's family, especially his son. He didn't have a father to know how it felt to lose him, but the boy seemed broken. L was able to read the expression on people's faces with practiced ease, but the expression on that boy's face was unreadable. His eyes seemed so dead to say the least, and something stirred in L. he felt bad about Soichiro, but when he saw what damage he caused, he felt the pain sting even more. L saw how his mother and sister were crying, and though it wasn't a nice sight, it was at least a normal reaction to what had happened. But Light Yagami, he didn't seem the kind that cared about anything in the world when L saw him.

More importantly, L gave him Watari's number in case he needed something. He expected him to call to at least ask a few questions. He, after all, had quite impressive deductive abilities according to what he had learnt about him – which was more than Light could imagine - , and L didn't think he was the kind that would leave any questions unanswered to satisfy his curiosity. The only reason he hadn't called until now was that he was too depressed to care about anything …

.. or that something happened to him.

L shook that thought quickly. It was hard enough for him to accept that it was his fault that his father's life was sacrificed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to the boy because of that. If only he hadn't changed the plan …

"L, your thumb," Watari said under his breath. L looked down at his thumb to see red stains decorating the frames of his nail. Again. He really should stop that habit.

"Shall we go now?" L asked, and Watari nodded.

When Watari parked the car in front of the bakery, L got out and told Watari to leave.

"I'll take a little walk. I'll call you later." L deadpanned. He hoped that Watari wouldn't argue with him; he often worried about him although he knew that L was a black belt in Capoeira.

After a short hesitation, Watari nodded and drove the Rolls Royce back to the hotel.

L took a moment to breathe in the pleasant smell of the assorted cakes and cookies and doughnuts – Oh my. He went inside and his thumb found its way back to his lips to try to stop the small smile that tugged on his lips. If anything could confuse his brilliant mind at all, it was choosing between the freshly baked goodies. He took a few minutes to examine everything the store was offering. cakes and cupcakes of the color of the rainbow littered the display table. He ordered a box of doughnuts, some cookies for later and his favorite – a piece of strawberry cake with vanilla icing.

He decided to drop by the coffee shop nearby to grab a coffee, and then take a walk around for a bit, to clear his mind of all the thoughts that were creeping into it. that case and the events of the last two weeks had stressed him out. He needed distraction, even if it meant he had to go out in public.

After he'd paid for his order, he took the bags in one hand put his wallet in his pocket with the other. He stepped into the street and the sounds of the crowded streets of Japan greeted his ears. He was never fond of crowded places, and felt a chill down his spine whenever he was outside. Well, he better be done with this walk quickly.

The coffee shop was a ten-minute walk from the bakery. When he finally reached the coffee shop and was standing across the street from it, he saw that it was crowded and probably at full capacity. It would take him ages to even grab a single cup of coffee. He was just about to get out his cell phone to call Watari when familiar locks of auburn hair met his eyes.

He glanced at their owner. Yes, it was him. The boy was resting his back against a wall outside the coffee shop, holding a cup of coffee in one hand, and his other hand in his pocket. He was staring at the space in front of him, and seemed lost in thought. He looked even worse than the last time L saw him.

Without even thinking what he was supposed to say to the boy, he started walking towards him.

When they finally only two feet away from each other, Light turned his head numbly to look at the new figure standing in front of him. His expression didn't change, and didn't seem to actually paying attention to anything. He didn't seem to register that someone was standing in front of him until L spoke.

"Yagami-kun." L said.

Light seemed to take a few moments to process what L said. That was a bad sign. L knew it meant his mind was floating somewhere else, and he knew that somewhere wasn't a very happy place. his eyes had circles around them .The guilt L had been trying to forget returned to him slowly.

"It's you." Light deadpanned. Well, that wasn't what L expected.

L, being the ever observant person he was, noticed that the boy took a quick glance above his head, so he looked up to see what Light was looking at. Nothing.

When he looked back to the boy, he saw that he was looking right into L's eyes with coldness L never saw in them before. L put his free hand in his pocket, which was a phenomenon to those who truly knew L. The boy had absolutely no idea he was sending chills down L's spine making him struggle not to shiver.

"So are you going to tell me how you knew my father?" Demanded Light.

"I used to work with him on some cases before."

"But you weren't wearing the uniform my father's coworkers wore at his funeral."

"You can say I'm a private detective." This wasn't the Light L met one week before. This was a completely different person.

Light eyed him suspiciously, and narrowed his eyes. He then seemed to give up and glanced away, back to look at the emptiness in front of him.

"What do you want then?" Light took a sip of his coffee.

L hesitated. He didn't really _know _what he wanted. And he couldn't just tell him that he wanted to make sure that the boy and his family were alright after his father's death because he was the greatest detective in the world who made the stupid mistake and was the reason his father was dead now, could he?

"Nothing," Said L, but before he could say anything more, Light interrupted him.

"Then why the fuck are you talking to me?" Light's featured hardened even more, if that was possible. L knew he had come at a bad time.

What was he supposed to say now?

If he wasn't so sure Light would grab him by his hair and demand to know what L wanted if he turned around to leave without another word, he would leave immediately.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun. I just came to ask how you were doing."

"What did you just call me?"

Silence.

"Why do you want to know how I'm doing anyway, I don't even know you," Light added, and took another sip of coffee as if that could calm him down. Some stranger shows up and asks how he was doing. Who said he needed help in the first place? He was sure he looked _perfectly _fine.

They both stood in silence for a few minutes. L wasn't very good at socializing and felt awkward at situations like this, and realized it hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"I apologize. I suppose I'll leave now," L said and turned to leave. He made a mental note not to approach someone who looked that depressed and .._dead _ever again.

Light looked at him in disbelief. He approaches him like that and asks how he was doing and then leaves like that? Who the hell did he think he was? Any doubts Light had earlier about him had disappeared now – he _was _an idiot.

One look at his coffee and Light regretted what he said earlier, he was probably one of his father's friends and was nice enough to ask about him. If his father were here, he'd probably be upset at Light.

Besides, he might have information on the case that wasn't available on his father's computer.

"Wait," Light caught up with him, and the man turned to look at Light. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I don't what gotten into me earlier, I guess I wasn't being myself."

L looked at him, face expressionless.

"I really should make it up to you. Uh, care for a walk, …"

"Ryuzaki."

* * *

A\N: well, I hope this turned out good D: please tell me what you like and don't like about this story. Constructive critiques are appreciated D:

About Light doubting himself like that, I believe when someone who's used to be so perfect, when they make a mistake they think that everything they did was wrong. You never predict what depression could do to a person :D :D


	8. A Goal

A Goal

* * *

"I really should make it up to you. Uh, care for a walk, …"

"Ryuzaki."

Light hesitated.

"Nice to meet you, Ryuzaki." Light held out his hand

"Likewise," After a moment of hesitation, L stretched out his hand and shook hands with Light. The two stood there, each analyzing the other silently in their minds.

_Why are you lying?_

"Would you like to go for a walk? There's a park not very away from here." Light walked a few steps to rid of his empty cup of coffee, then turned and waited for L.

_What are you hiding, L?_

"I don't see why not, Yagami-kun." He started walking to Light.

Light smiled, then laughed.

"It's okay, you can call me Light-kun, if you want." He said in the most charming, friendly way he could muster.

L said nothing.

_What is up with him?_

If Ryuk was there, he would've laughed.

When they finally reached, it was already getting dark. L bought two more cups of coffee and offered one to Light, who took it graciously. Coffee obviously became his new obsession, hence the circles around his eyes. For nearly ten minutes, they both walked in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Light was the one who finally broke the silence.

"So, Ryuzaki, tell me," Light looked at him, "Did you work with my father on that last case?"

"You're direct and to the point, Light-kun. I completely understand that you want to learn about that case." L sipped at his coffee. "As a matter of fact, I did work with your father on it, but please understand that it isn't a closed case yet, so the information I'm able to provide you with is limited."

"It's not a closed case?" Light's eyes widened. "You mean that the culprit that killed my father is still out there roaming freely?" He snapped.

"Light-kun does not need to worry. It's only a matter of time before he gets caught, I assure you." L said.

"Why are you so calm talking about that? We're talking about my _father's _murderer here!" Light stopped and braced himself on the floor, as if that could emphasize his point.

L came to a halt too and looked at Light, eyes apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun."

"What do you mean you're sorry? I need to know everything about that case, there's no reason to hide that information from me!"

"I'm sorry."

Light realized L wasn't going to say anything. He inhaled deeply, put a hand on his waist and looked to the side and _huffed_. This guy was getting under his skin. But the more he refused to give him information, the more determined Light became to know everything. He couldn't get his hands on any further information because the police seemed to avoid putting information on their computers for a reason. Well, they had a right to do that, after all Light wasn't the only one with hacking abilities; he couldn't blame them.

And with what he could sense from that guy, there was no point in trying.

He closed his eyes. "Fine. Let's change the subject." He fell into steps once again, and his expression seemed to change from absolutely angry to absolutely calm in half a second. The boy had absolute control over himself. L was impressed once again, but something about him made L sense something. . . dangerous.

"Light-kun. Your father talked about you a lot. I hear you want to join the NPA when you graduate, correct?"

Light looked at him for a second. "You've been investigating me?"

"No," L Lied. "I merely know what your father said about you. I think you have a promising future, Light-kun."

"Ha, well, I don't know about that."

This alarmed L. "What does Light-kun imply by that?"

Light looked at him again, and understood what L thought. "Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I just don't know if I want to be a detective anymore."

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes after the last statement. L didn't want to ask more questions for he knew this could irritate Light. From what L knew about Light, Light was a boy who loved solving cases and putting the pieces of the puzzle together, he even helped his father to solve some cases before and showed great interest in them. he even had a sense of justice similar to Soichiro's, so what could have possibly changed his mind?

Still, it won't hurt to ask him.

"Why did Light-kun change his mind?"

Light didn't speak nor did he look at him. His eyes became more focused, more narrow, as if the subject strained his body. Although no one else could notice it, his hands clutched the coffee cup with more force. Light was doing a good job at hiding what he felt, but L could read his body language with ease. He was hiding something. He just couldn't put his hand on it . . .

"Nothing important, I just rethought about my decisions."

"That's a shame."

Silence again.

"Hey, Ryuzaki . . . " Light looked at him. "Thank you for giving me your number at my father's funeral. it's good to know someone was really fond of him. And it was thoughtful of you." And Light meant it. No one did that at the funeral, and it made Light feel as if there was someone who was there to help. Although that someone might be a complete idiot.

L looked at him with a puzzled expression. "You're welcome, Light-kun. Although I'm a bit confused for you never called to ask any questions about the case or my identity. From your reaction at the funeral, I could tell you were confused about that."

It was almost as if that guy knew Light for so long that he could predict his actions and follow his pattern of thoughts. As if he could read Light like an open book. As if. . .

"You've been investigating me." Light stated, boldly, and it wasn't a question.

_Truly amazing, _L thought. _Most people wouldn't even think that way. Maybe . . ._

"I have an offer for you Light-kun,"

But before L could say anything else, his cellphone rang. "Excuse me," He picked up the phone. "Yes," He looked to the other side. "I see .. No, there is no need. Yes, I'll be right there."

When he hung up, he turned to Light, with two holes in shadow staring at him. "I have to go now, Light-kun, but thanks for the walk."

Without even waiting for Light to say anything, L was gone.

_He's not just an idiot, _Light thought. _He's socially retarded as well._

* * *

**A DAY EARLIER**

"We've got to do something about him."

"I agree. That L is standing in our way. If they hadn't followed his plan we would've had the whole NPA under our mercy now."

"More importantly, how are we going to deal with him now that he's got all the information about us? Staying in Japan is out of question. But if we don't do something about him soon, we're all going to prison. I want L dead."

"I know someone."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone who hates L too, he might want to help us. But I hear he's in a mental institution, but before that he served in prison, in California. I think we can reach him."

"A mental institution? You have to be kidding me, you can't be serious about asking help from some psychopath."

"No, he's the right person. Trust me, I think he knows some valuable information about _L," _He spat the last word as if it were poison clawing at his tongue as disgusting clouds of smoke floated in the air. "He's the right the person."

"Should we go to America then?"

"Yes. But we will hide there and we won't make a move for a while, even if it takes years. We just have to keep it a secret from the others until then. We won't take any risks."

* * *

Light decided it was good to stay at the park for a while longer. He held the cup around his fingers with a little more force, trying to grasp the last bit of warmth left in it. He felt suffocated at home, although he knew he should be there for his mother and sister, but he couldn't bring himself to look at their hollow expressions anymore. The guilt would sting him and he wouldn't sleep.

The sky was a clear, deep navy blue that was littered with tiny little twinkling stars. The trees were lined in a straight row as if they were soldiers looking after you, ready for action when you walked. With every step Light took, the leaves on the trees would sway, acknowledging him. The sounds of happy children playing there and some shouting playfully here helped his mind ease the stress.

If it weren't for the floating bright red numbers everywhere, the walk would have been almost perfect.

Ever since his father's murder, Light felt something change inside of him. Something new, that tried to swallow his old principles and beliefs. He couldn't tell why, but the world around him seemed more cruel, more rotten. He didn't want to talk to people, not even his mother or sister. He couldn't explain the wave of dark thoughts that invaded his mind every now and then. He wanted to see the murderer of his father die in front of him by his own . . _No. _

He had to stop these thoughts.

He took the last sip of coffee and disposed of the cup. His thoughts wandered again to the talk he had earlier with Ryuzaki, no, L. The guy knew so much about him, yet Light knew almost nothing but his name. Well, that and his life span. But why would he try and hide who he really is? Light admitted to himself that he wasn't a normal person. He looked as if his skin never met the sun, and the bags under his eyes stood for long nights without the luxury of resting them.

And he said something about an offer.

_What could he possibly want from me?_

Light could feel his eye twitch as a realization hit him. He _was_ going to have to call him after all. Seriously, he only met this guy twice and he was already under his skin!

Light turned and headed home. He needed to know more about L.

* * *

"I'm home," Light said, but it wasn't like he expected a reply. If his mother replied, her voice would be so broken and soft that he wouldn't hear her anyway. his sister would be lost in her own world in her room. She didn't seem to care about Hideki Ryuga anymore.

Light headed right to his room, intending to start his own personal investigation as soon as possible, so he missed seeing his mother talking to someone over the phone in the kitchen.

He hurried to his computer after changing his clothes in what was likely his personal time record. He flicked the lamp on his desk on, and opened his computer. He didn't remember being this worked up since that case. He opened the browser and typed in: _Private detective L Lawliet._ Surely if he was a private detective he'd want people to find his services online, or at least there would any sort of information about him no matter how little. However, Light wasn't as astonished as he thought he would be when nothing relative at all showed up. _Why am I not surprised?_

There had to be a good reason behind L's behavior. Why did he want to protect his identity? More importantly, why was he investigating Light? It was true that he said he haven't been investigating him, and the way he said it, with complete ease and without the slightest change in his expression made Light almost believe him. Maybe his father did talk a lot about him. But he gave Light the feeling that he knew him inside and out. Even better than his own family by his one simple statement. He wasn't normal, Light was sure of that.

Light took out the folded paper out of his wallet after going over the decision of calling him. Oh well, there wasn't anything to lose.

_Ring. Ring. Ri-_

"_Light-kun._" Light raised an eyebrow.

"How did you know it was me?"

"_There was a 83.7% chance you would call after our last conversation. I apologize for not having the time to explain anything further, but it was urgent. _"

Light was starting to feel creeped out. Was this guy a psychic?

"Okay, well, you did mention something about an offer? I was just curious about that, I thi-"

"Yes, my offer," L interrupted. Light heard a sound that seemed as if there was a fork war going on on the other side, followed by a loud munching sound. Light didn't even want to imagine.

"Light-kun. I believe you know that I'm working on the case right now, it isn't a closed case yet. However, I reckon you want to arrest the culprits?" Another munching sound. "My offer is the next: you can, if you want, assist me in solving this case. I'm aware that you said you don't want to become a detective anymore, but please, think this through. I know that you want to catch them."

The truth was, L felt that Light changed his mind about becoming a detective because of the events of the last month. He couldn't quite tell why; the boy showed great determination to help solve cases with his father before, but he figured it might be because of his father's death. L wasn't going to let him ruin his future because of that.

After Light's confession, L took it upon himself to put Light back on the right track. He knew Light thought he was a stranger and wouldn't take any advices from him, and he wasn't good at giving him advices anyway. he wanted Light to help him with the case to prove to him that was capable of detective work. Besides, he might prove useful in this case.

"Help you with the case?" Light hesitated. Helping with the case meant he could catch the culprits that murdered his father. He could bring justice to them. "You mean, it's okay for me to do so even if I hadn't started university yet?"

"There is no problem with that, Light-kun. But you should be aware that it might take quite a lot of your time. You can think this through, I'll be available at all times."

"No, there's no need to, I made up my mind. I'll help you." He didn't even have to give it a second thought.

* * *

Sorry for the short chapter, but at least OH GUESS WHO'S THE PSYCHOPATH ? MWAHAHAHAHA

PS: last chapter I said Light was going to start university in two weeks. Scratch that, I don't even know what I've been thinking.


	9. Of Asylums and Memories

Of Asylums and Memories

* * *

It was a very different young man who woke up that day.

Light had finally something to look forward to, something that was worth waking up for. Light knew then that he had fog blocking his sight, he was wrong about himself from the beginning, he had something to live for now. He wanted nothing more than to bring the murderers who killed his father to justice. No, he wanted to bring every criminal who killed, raped, stole or even brought fear to innocent hearts in this world to justice. He wanted to rid the world of its rotten contents, once and for all. He didn't know where all this determination had come from, but he knew for sure that it gave him a rush of a weird kind of happiness that ran through his soul that he never experienced before. And he knew it felt good.

Until only yesterday he felt hope starting to slip away from his numb fingers, taking whatever feelings left in him with it. Light never thought of himself as someone who would give up so easily, but since his father's death, he didn't feel like he knew himself anymore. Many dark thoughts lured in the corners of his mind that he himself didn't realize he was capable of. Whenever he got those thoughts he'd blame it on the depression, but little voices in the back of his head would tell him that it wasn't the only reason.

But now that he knew what he wanted, all those voices crumbled and disappeared like they've never been.

He knew something was wrong with him to accept an offer from a stranger, but the idea stirred something within himself. To arrest those murderers, and send them to the electric chair right in front of his eyes and see them face the same fate as the people they've killed . . . lovely. Oh, how he wanted to see those numbers above their head decrease, one number at a time, until they were no more.

It was true that he knew nothing about the plan that led to the death of the officers, and he knew nothing about the man he was about to work with, but a voice inside of himself called to him, lured him to the beauty of devastation, and Light Yagami gladly complied.

He opened his eyes to his old plain, stain-free ceiling, but instead of thinking how boring and, well, _plain_ it was, it made him feel like he's alive, just seeing something in front of him made him feel he had a duty and something to accomplish. It wasn't the same feeling he would usually have when he had an exam coming soon, or when he had a big competition in whatever he was participating in. This feeling had an unusual, unfamiliar pleasure in it, but he cherished it.

The first thing he did was get up from his bed, take a quick shower and get dressed. He fumbled in his closet looking for something decent but practical, and settled on a sand-colored coat and khaki pants. He then headed to his cellphone, intending to call L and ask him about all the details. Just the mere thought of starting to chase those assassins made a rush of energy run in his blood and made his soul soar high. He dialed Ryuzaki's number.

"_Light-kun. I didn't expect you to call so early." _

"Hey, Ryuzaki, sorry if I woke you up. Should I call later?" Light said after looking at his watch. He just realized it was still 8 in the morning.

"_No, no, Light-kun, now is just fine. I assume you are ready?"_

"Yes, I am. Where are we meeting?"

"_There is a coffee shop near your house, It serves amazing ca- coffee. How does that sound?"_

"Sounds fine." Light said, and after saying their good-byes Light headed down stairs to spend the half hour he has before he went to the coffee shop with his mother and sister. He realized it has been a while since the three of them had a normal conversation that didn't involve talking about the procedures of the funeral and the inheritage and what not.

He saw his sister sitting at the kitchen table, hair covering most of her face, and his mother near the stove preparing breakfast. Neither of them spoke or seemed to notice Light as he entered the kitchen, so he took the initiative.

"Good morning, Mom, Sayu," He took a few steps and sat near his sister.

"Good morning, Light." His mother looked at him over his shoulder and gave him a small smile. Sayu mumbled something barely understandable, but Light assumed it was a good morning as well.

After some time of asking 'how are you' and 'how is your studying going' and other questions of that kind, Light politely excused himself from breakfast and headed for the coffee shop.

When Light arrived at the coffee shop, his nose was greeted by the refreshing smell of freshly ground coffee beans and pastries. Not much people were at the place, but it would soon be crowded. His eyes darted around the place, looking for L, only to find him at a far corner of the shop, sitting alone, his knees against his chest, near the window and looking outside. When L noticed his presence, he waved his arms and motioned for him to come sit down.

"Good morning, Light-kun," He said, rather cheerfully.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki," Light sat down across from him and noted the small mountain of sugar cubes on the table. "You sure have weird hobbies,"

L looked down to what Light was looking at. "You think so?" He tilted his head. Light seemed a lot more . . . happier. When L told him about the offer, he had no doubt that he would accept, but he didn't think it would make him actually happy. According to Light's profile in L's head, Light was supposed to work on the case, yes, but act indifferent about it. It wasn't like it was going to change the fact that his father had been killed.

"Yeah," Light said as he touched the mini mountain with one finger, causing it to tumble down. "Looks like you've been here for a while." He then laughed jokingly.

"Light-kun," L whispered.

"Yeah?" He looked up to L, and the seriousness in the man's eyes made him cease to laugh.

"You're going to pay for this, Light-kun." Light stared. Was he serious?

When L sensed the bewilderment in the boy's eyes, he smiled.

Light was about to say something when the waitress arrived to take their orders.

"Hello, can I take your order?" She clicked the pen she took from her pocket and held a notebook in the other hand as she waited with a smile. L fidgeted in his place while his thumb found its way to his mouth again. He seemed to be thinking about something. It seemed as if he were making a life or death decision.

"I'll have a piece of strawberry cheesecake, and tea, please," He said.

Light smiled internally. _He was thinking about that? _

"I'll just have coffee, please," Light said after the waiter wrote L's order down and turned to him. After she went away he turned to look at L to see him in the same absent-minded state. Or at least that's how it seemed to Light. He looked at the sugar cubes, but his eyes seemed lost somewhere else. One hand clutched his knee and the other played with his mouth. Light remembered the main reason he was here after wondering briefly about L; he was anything but normal.

"So, Ryuzaki, how am I going to help with the police?" Light asked.

"I see you haven't known, Light-kun. The police are off the case." L looked at him, eyes unfazed.

"_What?!"_

"It's only us working on the case right now, Light-kun. I have already told you the case isn't closed yet, but it's almost over. the police gave up the case after the death of the two officers, after you father . . . " He trailed off, not wanting to remind Light. But it was true, the Chief was the one who encouraged them to work, he was the one who led them. After he passed away and they chose a new chief, things were going pretty slowly in the NPA. They started to back away, one by one, until they all made the decision to leave the case for L to solve.

"However, after the police quit the case, it seemed as if they decided to make their next step. Their leader decided to run away from Japan. I learned this the day you and I were at the park; it happened recently and I haven't determined their destination yet." He shifted in his place. "However, Light-kun doesn't have to worry about traveling, we probably won't need to; I believe it won't be hard to arrest them once their identities in any country they headed to are confirmed."

"So you're basically saying that the murderer or my father ran away. Again." L thought was going to throw a fit once again, but surprisingly, he was utterly calm. "Okay, so when do we start?"

"Start what, Light-kun?"

_This is pretty extreme. _

"Start working, Ryuzaki." He said under his breath. He turned around to look behind him after he noticed the eager look on L's face in front of him to see the waitress arriving with their order. _He's almost like a child._

When Light was just about to ask him again after waiting for 5 minutes for L to enjoy devouring his cheesecake, L's phone rang.

_This is going to be a long day._

* * *

After probably a few minutes waiting for L to finish his awkward phone call, Light almost believed it was one sided anyway, L finally explained what he had in mind to Light. And apparently L had already thought ahead of all the questions Light would ask, and answered him before he asked them. L watched as Light quietly sipped his coffee, thinking everything over and making his plans and pondering every possibility.

"Light-kun," Light's mind came back from whatever place it was in and gave its attention to L. "What are you going to do?"

"Well, I'm certainly going to try and find some information on where the culprits might be. I know it might take some effort and some research but I belie-"

"No, I meant your future, Light-kun," The question took Light by surprise. Bewilderment loomed around the corners of his eyes for a second, but he managed to hide it with his usual mask soon enough. But that second was enough time for L to notice. He shifted in his place uncomfortably. The very subject he'd been trying to avoid thinking about, or talking about it to his family was just brought up by L now.

"I . . . truly don't know, Ryuzaki," He sighed. He didn't really know what he wanted to do about it. He still didn't like the idea of joining the NPA only to fail his coworkers or innocent people once again. Much to his delight, Ryuzaki didn't push the matter any further. He didn't need to; it wasn't like he cared after all.

After a few minutes listening to the soft music playing and people talking around them, they both started contemplating which course of action to take. It took L a few minutes to explain to Light what he had discovered so far, and what he knew about the murderers. He even went as far as to tell him many of the methods assassins usually use to kill their targets and plan their moves. He explained many minor details that Light almost thought L had been an assassin before himself.

When Light grasped everything he needed to know for now, L announced it was time he was somewhere else. He and Light headed outside and said good-bye, after deciding to meet again in his hotel room the day after so Light can use the information on L's laptop. Walking home, Light smirked to himself. L seemed to have a lot of information, and soon enough, he was going to eliminate the miscreants.

For the first time in his life, Light wanted to see death.

* * *

Lights flickered on and off in the long, white hallway, making the shadow of a figure with no arms that was looming in the horizon appear and disappear. The woman who was carrying a tray let out a shriek and the sound of shattering glass filled the place. Red eyes glowed in the darkness, their shape narrowed by the muscles stretching on the figure's face, making him smile and reveal his bloody teeth. The poor woman ran to the security room for the third time that week.

"Guards! Rue has escaped again, he's broken the door! Catch him before he manages to run away!" She said, voice frantic, as she put a hand on her heart to calm it down. She was never going to get used to this job, not when Rue Ryuzaki was around.

One guard raced towards the patient, as two of the other workers grabbed whatever drugs they were going to need this time with them. Luckily for the guard, the patient hadn't been able to run away thanks to his straightjacket. He pinned him down and called out for the workers to hurry up with the drugs. The patient called Rue writhed under the guards arms, laughing out loud. Things couldn't have been more interesting to him.

Two minutes later, Beyond Birthday, a patient in a mental institution in California, USA, was unconscious and lying on a bed in his white room, a smile still spread across his injured face, satisfied with the ordeal he caused. A nurse came in and examined his face, hoping in her heart that he wasn't going to wake up while she treated the still-bleeding wounds. All in all, no matter how they drugged him, this particular patient was the most intimidating. They all tried to avoid dealing with him whenever possible.

He managed – somehow – to break the lock of the door to his room using a knife he stole earlier, and his head. A deep red scar made its way through his left cheek, caused by the sharp piece of the knife during one of his many attempts, and his head was slightly bleeding from hitting it against the door uncountable times. No therapist could make him change his mind about anything – not the way he starved himself then tried to bite whoever brought him food, not the way he kept telling people when they were going to die, and not even the way he tried to harm himself.

A few hours later, Beyond woke up on the floor, with many bandages decorating his face, to the sound of someone knocking on his door. He smiled. _More flesh to tear. _

However, his enthusiasm melted away he saw the boring lady who didn't even dare get close to him. Brave workers were so much fun. They were harder to scare, but easier to bite when they came too close. But he liked challenge, for it reminded him of a certain someone. She came in with a notebook in her hand and her glasses were hung on the collar of her white coat. Her eyes were wide and focused, ready for any action from the patient in front of her.

"Mr. Ryuzaki?" Beyond titled his head to the side, with a little more force than necessary, filling the air with the sound of his neck bones popping. She swallowed hard, and he smiled even wider. "You have some visitors today," And with that, she was gone.

_Visitors. Maybe I can make them join us in this beautiful asylum. _He chuckled at the thought as he writhed on the floor trying to make himself sit. _Damn them, visitors, huh? I'll give them a present then. _He started to laugh when he finally succeeded in pushing his torso from the floor using his head and feet. He stood on his knees, waiting eagerly for the visitors to appear at his door. His mouth was open wide, showing his teeth as he continued to laugh.

He heard the woman tell them instructions, and warn them about the things he might do. This only made him eager to meet them, to see how they would react. _If you're still willing to come in after that, then hello and welcome. _He hadn't had visitors since . . . how long has it been? Two years? Three? The only people who visited him then were Watari and that god damn _L, _when they visited him once when he was still new in the asylum. He couldn't remember how long it has been, but he still remembers _that _day. _Damn you, L. _His jaw closed slightly and his laughing ceased at the memory. _Damn you. _

When he finally brought his eyes up slowly to meet the men that now were standing in front of him, his eyes narrowed. They were two men, and they were complete strangers. He had been hoping it was L, even if it meant he was going to be charged with murder – again, but it would worth it. Oh, it would be very worth it. Before he could start laughing again at the lovely idea, one of the men spoke.

"Rue Ryuzaki?" Beyond tilted his head the other side now. More bone popping. The man turned to the woman and told her they wanted to speak to him alone. She hesitated, but it wasn't anything against the rules, so she gladly walked away fast, missing hearing the words that came from the man's mouth next .

"If I'm not mistaken," The man took a few steps and sat down, balancing on his feet, elbows resting on his knees. "You are Beyond Birthday, aren't you?" He smirked.

* * *

A/N - So, I have a question for you guys. Did you expect this? :) I mean, Beyond showing in the story, that is.


	10. Conversations

Conversations

* * *

"You are Beyond Birthday, aren't you?"

Beyond took in the man's face, his expressions, his eyes. His face was cold, even with his green eyes and dark brown hair. It carried much darkness it was obvious he committed a crime – no, crimes before. His body wasn't muscular, but well-built and ready at any time for a fight. Beyond glanced above his head. A Japanese name. Hm.

Beyond stared right back at him, not in the least bit unnerved. They stared at each other, each one calculating the other's thoughts in their chaotic minds. The other man who'd accompanied him was still standing in the doorway, and was just observing silently. It looked as if he was getting ready if Beyond tried to do anything to his boss, which was most likely the case. After the long silence and the staring contest, the man knew Beyond was never going to give in. he spoke first.

"Listen, Beyond, I'm here to make a deal with you. Please listen carefully to what I am going to say next, because I believe it will interest you. I guarantee it." His voice was low, and confident, almost as if he knew what was to come.

Beyond, however, didn't believe the game was over. he kept silent, and still looked right through his eyes, but listened intently. Apparently when staying alone in a white room alone for more than five months made some weird visitor who was promising to make an interesting deal with you more interesting than ignoring him and continuing to live in his mind in a corner of the room.

"I know about you and L," He said it so easily it nearly made Beyond have a heart attack. "I know everything about you, and I'd like to make a deal with you, regarding that matter. Are you interested?" it was as if he was speaking to a child. His tone was persuading and very careful.

"What do you know," Beyond spat, for the first participating in this unexpected conversation. It wasn't exactly a question. It was a demand. However, it seemed that the man was expecting Beyond's reactions, and even laughed slightly, amused by him.

"I know everything." Was the simple, unnerving answer. "I know about the LABB Murder Cases, as well, and I know about you being a previous L successor. I understand how you must feel. Care to spare a few moments listening to my deal?"

Beyond, however, wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"How do you know?" he gave him his worst glare.

"I thought you might at least guess. It was that stupid Naomi Misora, that chick's as naïve as a child. Ha, or should I say, _was. _Surely you remember her, do you not?" He smirked again, this time, satisfaction showing in his eyes. "I'll tell you what happened in short. I know you're curious. She was the one who figured your little genius plan out after all."

If it wasn't for the straightjacket that was keeping his arms captives, Beyond would get the satisfaction of ripping that smirk off the man's face with his bare hands.

"When she was happily walking home one month ago, I simply drugged her. She poured everything out to me like an open book. It was _that _simple."

"I do not care about Misora. What do you want?"

"Listen, Beyond. Do you still want to get back at L?"

_Yes, _Beyond's mind supplied right away. _It's what I'm living for. _But, the rational side of Beyond's mind, or rather, what's _left _of the rational side of Beyond's mind, told him not to trust this man. No right away anyway. But he couldn't resist the urge to actually listen to something that had something to do with L. His goal. Beating L, and outsmarting him. Although the more Beyond thought about it, beating him with an axe was much more appealing.

"Yes," He finally said. Or rather, growled.

That answer seemed to satisfy the man.

"Very well, then." the man stood up, and motioned for his . . . friend to keep an eye on anyone that was coming close. It only intrigued Beyond even more. What could possibly a criminal want from Beyond Birthday? When he was in an asylum, anyway?

When the man returned, he sat on the ground near Beyond, who was still sitting on his knees.

"You ever heard of the massacre in Japan?" he brought up the subject as if he was talking about the weather. "I suppose you didn't. They never made it public. L is working on that case," the man noticed Beyond flinch when 'L' was mentioned, but continued nonetheless. "They killed more than one hundred people in the last month. Pretty impressive, huh?"

Beyond didn't say anything, so he took it as a sign to continue.

"Let me tell you something even more impressive. The leader of the assassins ran away. L couldn't catch him." His voice was confident, and full of pride. "You, Beyond, are looking at him."

Beyond moved his head to look at his face once again. He couldn't describe the fury burning inside his soul at that moment. This despicable man, who didn't look anything out of the ordinary, actually _outsmarted _the Legendary _L? L _whom Beyond grew up with, and knew almost everything about his past? _L, _whom Beyond was supposed to look at and say 'Who's smarter now, L?' It didn't make sense.

It didn't make sense at all.

Two feelings started to rapidly float on the surface of Beyond's chest. The _need _to brutally murder this guy, and taste his jam-sweet blood, and the _need _to know everything about him, and to admire him even. He needed to know what he'd done so that he could hide his self very well that L couldn't find him the moment he started working on the case. Hell, he couldn't even get his hands on him when he was in Japan.

He wondered if L intended this to happen.

Maybe L wanted him to run away and lure him in a trap of his own.

But, would L let all these peoples get murdered just to get to one person?

"What did you do to get away with it?" _so far, anyway, _Beyond added in his mind.

"I did what he did. I hid my identity." The man said easily. "Obviously, it was the wisest thing to do. I participated in murdering people before, but never got caught. As I grew up, I became well-known in the underworld. But L . . . he was a nuisance. He always stood in the way. Always a barrier. _He_ led to the death of many of the most trusted people I worked with. It was always _him._" His tone was much, much harsher now. His eyes were glued to the wall, while his mind recalled the bitter memories. "I swore to myself to bring him down, no matter what it took."

The man kept silent, as he waited for Beyond's response. He didn't think Beyond would dislike the idea. Actually, he believed he would be eager to help out. Beyond Birthday was smart, and his help would be valuable. He was anything but stupid. Insane, and mentally sick, maybe, but not stupid.

Beyond cocked his head to the side, contemplating this. How lucky was he, to get another chance to _show _L who was smarter.

Oh yes, he'd _show _him.

* * *

The first word that crossed Light's mind when he walked in the luxurious hotel L was staying in was, 'contradiction.'

When he met L for the very first time, and had seen him in his beaten running shoes, he stroke him as 'careless', 'retarded', and even 'weird'. He had never thought he was a detective until he told him. He had never thought he was intelligent until he spoke to him. Surely, it was obvious to Light that he was acting most of the time about what he thought, and that he hid what he was thinking about well. He just couldn't see past those dark, mysterious holes that represented eyes. When he talked about the case, he talked with such confidence, his thoughts were ordered and his theories were identical to Light's, and he even brought up things that Light never noticed before. It only reflected the amount of brilliance hidden beneath that mass of unruly hair of his. L represented what they would call a 'mad genius' that had no concept of time or any internal clockwork, not to mention his carelessness about everything - including his appearance - but solving cases. And cake.

But when Light stepped into the hotel, he knew that L couldn't just accept anything. He sure had standards, and high ones too.

The hotel suite was large, to say the least. The living room that had ceiling-to-floor windows that displayed a breathtaking view of the night of Tokyo, had an extravagant sofa and a couple of chairs that made Light's tense body relax just by looking at them. In front of it was the huge TV screen, which Light was sure was never really touched by L. The walls were painted a dull shade of yellow that portrayed sleepiness. He wondered how the insomniac kept himself awake in such an environment.

But, of course, the beautiful suite had to be ruined by L's laptops, computers and mini TV's each displaying a different place spattered everywhere.

And L, sure enough, was standing in the midst of all the chaos with his hands deep in his pockets, and half a smile on his face.

"Light-kun." L acknowledged him.

"Good evening, Ryuzaki," Light greeted him, and extended his arm to shake hands with him. After that, they both sat down, L on his favorite chair, and Light on the sofa. It sure was as comfortable as it looked.

"Would you like tea or coffee, Light-kun?"

"Tea would be fine, thanks,"

One hour passed, and both of them were completely absorbed by the case, searching every second for more clues or looking over the information again to make sure nothing of importance had slipped from them. Light had not felt that rush of energy and amount of concentration in a while.

"Light-kun, we should watch this,"

L showed him a video of an airport in Japan, it seemed, and it showed loads of people walking fast everywhere. More than fifty new faces were shown each second, and Light could barely take a look at any of them.

"Are you sure this is useful? I can barely see anyone."

"Light-kun, I think it is very useful. We already established that there is a very high possibility of the murderers traveling to another country. There were some witnesses of the ones who broke into the NPA office, and we managed to a get a detailed description of their height, bodies, and other information about them. Apparently, that information matched the description of some criminals who were convicted of previous crimes, and I could get some pictures of them. It is true that they can wear clothes to hide themselves, but we _can _tell if anyone of them has moved. Here," L handed him a file.

Light didn't even know where the file had come from, he just saw L pull it out from his side. He reached out and held the file in his hands. "But why didn't you tell me this before then?"

L's thumb found its way to his mouth as he spoke. "That was not necessary, Light-kun. I just received this video feed, and now I'm showing it to you,"

Oh well, he had a point.

He opened the file and pulled out the photos. He couldn't justify the anger he felt when he saw the numbers above their heads. He sure wanted them dead, wanted them to get the death penalty, but he needed to control himself!

He looked at every photo for long enough to have them memorized with their every little detail in his mind.

These were them. the ones who killed his father.

Light kept reading information about them. from their birth, to their grades in school, to the people they used to hang out with. He read every detail, and never left anything out. Obviously, they had been reckless teens who didn't give much attention to school or academics. They had been known for their famous street fights, and criminal records when they were older. No wonder they ended up being criminals.

He swore to himself he'd bring them down, along with their leader and every one of them, no matter what it took.

Six hours later, Light found his eyes closing of their own accord. Even with all the tea and coffee he drank, he still felt tired, and remembered that he'd been keeping himself awake, looking for information about the case from his own computer lately. What had he been thinking?

He kept rubbing his temples and eyes, willing them to remain awake, but no such luck. the video in front of him became a daze, and faces became a blur. Even their names and numbers weren't clear. He was never used to doing such a thing in his life. Not even when he had exams in high school. L noticed his tiredness long ago, but kept watching to see how much more he could take. He found it amusing. He never had anyone to work with on a case before.

"Light-kun should rest for a while. You seem to be tired," L said. "You may rest in the bedroom for a while, if you'd like. I will keep an eye on the videos,"

His tone was friendly but Light knew, oh he knew how he was mocking him. He loathed looking weak in front of anyone. The bastard was making fun of his tiredness!

"I think I will, Ryuzaki. Thank you," Without another word, he stood up and headed to the bedroom. The bedroom looked as if it hadn't been used by a human being before, which was probably true. The number of times Light saw that insomniac blink were countable. He told himself he would take a nap for only forty-five minutes and then resume working.

He took off his shoes and loosened his tie a bit, and once his head hit the pillow, he fell fast in a dreamless slumber.

Light woke up later after what he assumed was only ten minutes. He looked at his wrist to know the time, but he didn't find his watch there. _I left it outside_.

For some reason, Light found himself carry the blanket and wrap it around himself. He was not going to sacrifice the comfortable feeling of its warmth around his body and suffer the bitterness of December's cold breezes only to get his watch and come back.

He stepped outside the bedroom and headed to the table behind the chair L was sitting on. He had to dodge the many wires and laptops on the floor. If he was lucky, L won't even notice him as he did his mission. Once he reached the table, he found his watch, the one his father bought him before he died, right where he left it earlier. The sound of it brushing the keyboard while he was typing irritated L for some reason and asked him to put it down. Before he put his hands on it, however, he noticed that a certain black mess of wild hair was missing.

He moved towards the chair where L was supposed to be. He couldn't be in the bathroom because the video wasn't paused or anything. And he couldn't have gone out either, for the same obvious reason. Then where was he . . .

The view of L, curled up in a baby's position on his side, his hands wrapped around himself tightly, and his closed eyes stopped Light in his tracks. He thought that the idiot never slept! But the video of the airport was still on. It was either he could watch it while his eyes were closed, or he passed out. Light smirked. And here he thought he was the weak one. But soon his smirk turned to a frown. How much did they miss of the video? They were going to have to rewind the tape and watch it where they'd left off. Stupid idiot. L's arms moved slightly, as if he was trying to warm himself.

Stupid cold idiot.

Without even knowing what he was doing, Light unwrapped the blanket that was around himself and placed it on top of L. L made a small noise under his breath and nothing more.

Light froze. He though L woke up, but he just moved his head slightly and continued sleeping. Light was surprisingly relieved. He did _not _want to talk to him now. He was _not _going to tell him he was the one who put the blanket on him. What was he thinking anyway? Light shook his head and paused the video. He could not understand why he felt the sudden urge to do such a thing, but pushed all the situation aside and went to get his watch.

When he finally put the watch on his hand again and glanced at the time, it was 2:23 a.m. He had gotten only ten minutes of rest, just as he predicted. _To hell with it, I need to sleep. _

Light went back to the room and was thankful when he found a spare blanket.

* * *

A/N - Yeah .. well, I've got a couple of scenarios in my head, but what do you guys suggest the best thing to happen after that?

Also, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favored, or followed my story. It means a lot, and it's a big encouragement! Thanks guys :)


	11. Imbroglio

**Imbroglio**

* * *

" . . . Light."

Light opened his eyes, only to find darkness plaguing the room he had slept in. It was still dark outside, probably darker than it should be. He checked everything. His head was still on the pillow, his body was still under the covers.

But he couldn't see the person who had called his name.

". . . _Light Yagami._"

He recoiled at the voice and sat up straight. The wave of dizziness that hit him was surprisingly strong. Everything was still dark and he couldn't see or feel anyone near him. He reached for the lamp beside the bed, but his fingers touched nothing.

"Ryuzaki?"

Light was getting more and more confused. He called the alias he knew louder a second time, but as he saw two red eyes stare at his face in front of him his heart flinched, willing his body to move. He couldn't.

His heart beat was picking up the pace as he could feel his paralyzed hands break a sweat. He couldn't bring himself to speak either, and felt a melancholic weight on his chest. The wicked white teeth which represented the man's smirk in front of him came into view. And something else started to reach him. Fingers.

Light's almond eyes turned to two big circles as he looked helplessly at the hands that were now near his face. the only sound he could hear was his rough breathing and the clock on the opposite wall, counting each second of his horror.

". . 9 3 . . 02639?" The smirk got wider as Light started to get frantic. His breathing got faster and even more rough. When the fingers were mere inches away from his face, he thought his heart was going to stop. What on earth was that force, keeping his body glued to the bed!?

Time seemed to slow down, and as those fingers finally reached his face, everything turned white.

The blank white ceiling welcomed his sight. Breathing heavily, he sat up to find himself on the bed he remembered falling asleep on. His hands were still shaking and his heart never ceased to beat fast. His hand found its ways to his temples, rubbing them of their own accord. The nightmare felt so real. Oh god, it felt so real. Light tried desperately to slow down his frantic heart, and his body to stop shaking. When he opened eyes he didn't remember closing, a wave of sudden nausea swam through his whole body, and a too familiar headache started to surface in his head.

Light could feel his heart pounding in his head as he struggled to put his feet on the floor and steady himself until the nausea went away. When he felt his body get colder, however, he knew the bathroom was the best place to be right now. He forced himself up and hurried to the bathroom, where he instantly doubled over and emptied his stomach. He'd never felt worse before.

The cold water from the water tap brought his senses to reality again with a welcomed refreshing feeling. He leaned on the sink, breathing silently. He needed to sort out the things he felt and saw that suddenly exploded in his unconsciousness. He was never the kind to have nightmares about _anything, _for he feared nothing. he hadn't even had a single nightmare when everything about the messed up case and their sudden loss. Well, it was sudden to his _family, _but not to him.

_Red eyes . . . _

Light remembered the red eyes. They were familiar, but so foreign at the same time. He remembered people telling him that his eyes were almost red when they faced the sun, but that was natural. But those eyes were so red and so blindly visible in the darkness. He remembered how helpless and _numb _he felt. He felt . . . so weak.

_Snap out of it! You're not weak. It was just a nightmare. _

Just a nightmare.

His fingers gripped the edge of the creamy colored sink, as if his thoughts could move from his head to the sink that way. It was unnerving, how his mind was capable of producing such disturbing images for him to see. What was more unnerving, that Light was actually _stressed _because of a _dream. _Within nothing more than a second, he settled on the unquestionable decision of leaving this _non-realistic, _he reminded himself, nightmare aside, and left the bathroom to continue working the case he suddenly remembered.

"Are you okay, Light-kun?" Light turned his head to the side only to find L in the same spot, still watching the videos while some papers and files littered the table in front of him. He noticed it wasn't dark outside anymore, and cursed himself mentally. He even cursed more when he realized how he must have looked like, and felt his face color at the thought of L hearing him in the bathroom.

"Yeah, I am, thanks. Anything new?" Light ran a hand through his hair as he walked towards the sofa, changing subjects quickly to avoid any further embarrassment. He decided it was the caffeine's fault he got sick, for he never had such an amount in his life. The reasons as to why he acted so irrationally were still unknown to him, but when he saw the sugar tower and the coffee on the table, he blamed L as well.

L eyed him carefully as he sat down and picked up a file in his hand. His lost eyes were a spitting image of his father's on . . . _that _day, and L felt that guilt sting his chest again. His skin was a sickening white, a shade that competed with L's.

"Light-kun won't get any breakfast?" He asked as he brought his eyes to the video again and watched intently.

"Thanks, but I'm not really hungry."

"You do not look well," L tried again as he picked up a sugar cube and put it in his mouth.

"Well, I guess it's all the caffeine I had yesterday," Light leaned forward in his chair, trying harder to concentrate on the file in front of him. "I'm not used to it."

"I see."

They worked in silence after that, but only after a few moments of the peace Light was thankful for, L decided to interrupt it.

"Light-kun, I know it is not of my concern, but I must ask you something." He looked at him intently to get his attention. "Have you decided about college? Do you still want to avoid detective work?"

Light didn't look at him. he kept his eyes on the paper in front of his face, barely registering the words printed on it. Just who exactly L thought he was to invade his own life and decisions like that? He tried to compose himself and form an answer. Preferably a polite one.

"Well, it's not like you to ask such a question," He leaned back as he felt a smirk tug on his lips when he saw the expression on L's face. "But, yes, I have made my mind." Being able to look confident always felt good.

"Light-kun, I can guess what your reasons might be, but I think that it's so unlike _you _to give up something you like," He straightened his back a little bit at the last part of the sentence, as if it would make him more convincing, more intimidating. "And you obviously like solving cases."

Light's eyes narrowed. Obviously this man wasn't taking the hint. The file somehow ended on the sofa, forgotten, as Light sat back and crossed his arms.

"What do you _know _about me? What business do you have with me, Ryuzaki?"

Pause.

"I apologize for saying this, but you are being unreasonable."

"You haven't answered my question!" Screw the formalities.

L shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never good when it came to social situations. Especially complicated ones like these. And he couldn't just tell Light that it was his fault and that he couldn't give up on being a great detective because of him.

He wouldn't have it.

In mere seconds, L composed himself, and calmed down. And then he did what he did best. He fell back upon reason.

"Light-kun. You _are _being _unreasonable. _It is irrational to give up on something you worked hard for," He saw Light open his mouth, but interrupted him. "Your father talked about what great potential you have, Light-kun. He was proud of you. Do you really think it would make him happy if you gave up because of past mistakes?" L suddenly froze when he realized he actually said the last word aloud. Mistakes.

He said mistakes.

Apparently reason wasn't on his side this time.

Light's breath hitched when he heard the word. he heard mistakes. He hoped he had heard wrong, but as it repeated itself in his mind, he knew he had heard right.

Did L know something?

"W-what do you mean, 'mistakes'?" He forced himself to calm down, but it wasn't easy. The mere idea of someone knowing of his ability was more terrifying than Light ever imagined. But he was being paranoid. There was no way L could know. He quickly revised his every action. No, he did nothing out of the ordinary. There was no way.

Was there?

"I am not one to believe in coincidences, do you not agree? Everything that happens is merely a result of one's actions," L said, indifferent. It was the best thing he could come up with, but it was true after all. It was _his _actions that led to it. He secretly hoped that Light would buy it.

"I see,"

"If you are not going to be a detective, Light-kun, then why are you tiring yourself to such a degree on this case?"

"Are you kidding me?" Light exclaimed. "This is my _father's _case we're working on! The people we're looking for are the ones who _killed _my father! They need to get arrested, to face the _same fate!_ How could you ask a question so stupid?!"

"So you are doing it for revenge, then,"

"No, I'm _not _doing it for revenge. I'm doing it for _justice. _What happened to my father wasn't fair. What happened to the rest of the officers who died was _not _fair._"_

"But if you are doing this for justice, then surely you would've wanted to work on other cases for justice as well."

L noticed Light's jaw tighten as he simply took a sip of his coffee as if he was discussing an everyday issue.

Light didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to cleanse this world from its rotten contents, but he _didn't _want to join the NPA. He didn't want to risk making the same mistakes again. By making mistakes, he'd put innocent peoples' lives in danger, and that wasn't justice. If only there was an easier way to rid the world of criminals.

Light was lost.

He closed his eyes, thinking about what L had said. He was right, and Light knew it. But he couldn't just go back in his decision. He wasn't prepared for another failure. Even now, when he was working on his father's case, he was not doing anything right at all. He was wasting time bickering with someone who claimed to know him, while his father's murderers were still roaming freely, so far from justice. He sighed.

"Let's get back to work, Ryuzaki. We have a lot of catching up to do; since we both fell asleep last night." He picked the file again, and this time, he actually read the printed words.

L, even though feeling down because of Light's unenthusiastic response, resumed watching the video too, but seemed to pause for only a second before murmuring a soft, barely audible "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" Light looked at him questionably, for the third time being interrupted.

"About last night. It was you who covered me, wasn't it?" He tilted his head.

Light looked again at the paper in front of him as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Yeah. No problem."

Three hours later, Light and L somehow managed to reverse roles. Light was watching the videos and L was inspecting the new files Watari brought for him minutes ago. It was simply monotonous. Light was utterly sick of having to watch so many letters and numbers for hours straight. He even started to feel detached, as if the TV and himself were the only things that existed in the universe. The only caffeine he consumed was a lone cup of coffee, the hot sensation disturbing his empty stomach. He was starting to dread coffee.

However, even though he didn't look like it, Light was in deep thought about what L had told him earlier. It was true, he _was _being irrational. January was approaching soon, and that gave him only three months before he started college.

And, in addition to have been proven wrong, what L had said about 'Justice' was right. _Again. _Oh, how he hated it when he was right. But truth be told, Light didn't want to make the wrong decision just because he was stubborn. That would be foolish.

So when lunch time finally came, and he and L started eating while working, L eating his beloved strawberry cake, and Light eating rice and fish that Watari had brought him earlier, Light had finally settled on a new decision.

"Ryuzaki?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L said between bites, eyes still focused on the file he held between his thumb and forefinger.

"Er, I have thought about you said,"

L looked at him.

"I was – wrong." Came the words he never thought he'd say. "I was acting irrational. I changed my mind, I guess."

For the first time, a sincere smile sprawled across L's face. "I'm glad you did. You're going to make a fine detective, Light-kun."

"T-thanks. I hope that we manage to accomplish something before April, then," Why was meeting his gaze so difficult?

"I hope so, too," He looked back at the file, the smile still on his face. "You know, Light-kun, this is the very first time I work with someone personally on a case," Light was surprised, but didn't say anything.

Light was also surprised that L didn't say something childish just to feel the satisfaction of proving him wrong; he expected he'd say something like, 'I know I'm always right, Light-kun,' accompanied by that provoking smirk of his. But instead, he'd said he was glad.

That man was not in the least predictable.

And Light was surprised at the feeling he got when he finally settled on going back to college. He felt . . . content. Even though nothing changed, and he didn't even start college yet, but he felt simply content. L did have a point; his father would be proud of him if he became a detective. Although, he couldn't keep his promise to his father and work with him.

And the more Light thought about it, the more he became motivated to catch those criminals. But now, it was for a different reason. It was previously indeed for revenge, but now, it was for justice. And his father.

As the day grew dark, as everyone was getting ready for their deep slumber in the cold winter night, Light and L stayed awake, working silently and intently alone, without any help from the police or any kind of backup on the case.

And almost three months passed by with that same pattern.

* * *

"Ryuzaki," Light said. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to work full time. College will start in a week, and people would start questioning my absence,"

It was the last day of March, and he and L were currently in the Teito Hotel. L insisted on changing hotels every few days, even if it annoyed Light to an unbelievable degree. It was still morning, and they were still doing the things they did every day for the last three months. Watching videos, and reading files.

"I totally understand, Light-kun," L took a bite of the cake in front of him.

"Well, can I still work on the case in my free time? I know I can balance between the two."

"Of course. I understand how important it is for you to solve this case, and I belie - - " L paused when he noticed something completely shocking on the screen. He saw the same man that was also in the airport yesterday.

But it couldn't be.

There was no way it was the same man. L watched the videos and he didn't see him come back to Japan.

But if it wasn't the same man, how come he wore the same coat, and held the same briefcase, and even the same hat that covered most of his face?

Anyone would say it was a coincidence.

But L did not believe in coincidences.

"Light-kun. Have you seen this man before?" He put the fork down and put his hands on his knees, thinking hard. It was, without doubt, a disguise. The man now was standing in the queue to check-in. He wasn't carrying anything else but the briefcase.

"Hm? That man?" Light looked at the screen. "Hey, wasn't there someone else who looked exactly like him only yesterday?" He also gave his full attention to the screen.

There was a 70.6% chance that he was a criminal. The assassins stopped the killing spree right after the NPA incident, but they were never caught either. There was no trace of them. If the assassins wanted to run away, which L was sure of, they would never travel in groups, which was obvious. Then the chance of this man, along with the other man with the same disguise, being some of the assassins . . .

"Watari!" L barked suddenly. "I want the destinations of every flight from Japan for today and yesterday, and please bring the tapes of the security cameras in the airport for the last month!"

* * *

A/N - Thanks for reading!  
Maybe it's not necessary for me to say this, but I like this chapter =w=


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